General

With best Jeanist, Leathernist and even Nailist prizes given out every year, it’s perhaps not surprising then to hear that there is now the Parcassio Beautiful Leg Awards, which, without too much leverage of the language, could legitimately be labelled the best leggists.

However, while this series of events is all well and good, it also begs the question as to when a Japanese bra manufacturer will boast the best breastist. An event that as well as being a huge promotional tool, could also be the perfect medium for marvelling at Japan’s multitude of mammary merchants.

All the way from the now long in the tooth talents of ‘veteran’ Aki Hoshino,

to the more youthful but equally considerable capabilities of Reon Kadena.

And there could even be a possible nod to the not so natural, with the inclusion of the somewhat crudely constructed Kano sisters.

Although with one of them rumoured to have formerly been a fella (the one on the left perchance?), it’s not all that difficult to imagine that she’d have been better off waiting to appear in the presumably up-and-coming best penisist promotion.

Whether the notion of never actually closing is necessary or not is debatable to say the least, but apart from the nation’s copious collection of convenience stores, Japanese shop owners have been relatively slow in adopting around the clock retailing. There again, until fairly recently it wasn’t even possible to withdraw the money necessary to actually notch up a nocturnal purchase, so their disinterest was probably defensible.

Still, as time goes on, outlets of all kinds are slowly catching on.

Kind of.

When it comes to facial hair, most Japanese men aren’t hugely hirsute, with more than a few having to make do with the likes of manufactured moustaches. Yet baldness on the other hand doesn’t appear to be that big of a problem, which, while great for the majority, makes it even more catastrophic for those considering a combover.

Thankfully though, help is at hand, with wig makers well versed in such worries.

The only problem being that, on a caricature, the pronounced parting looks passable, but on a real person, it’s positively preposterous.

With Japan boasting such tantalising titles as best Jeanist and Nailist, it’s perhaps not surprising then to see that online entertainment site ZAKZAK has created the Japanese Gravure Idol Award. A prize that finally gives the nation’s hard-working bikini models the recognition they so richly deserve, with the judges taking into consideration the likes of photo album sales and media exposure, along with an ample number of other assets.

And, after some no doubt lengthy deliberations, the judges finally presented the first ever title to 24-year-old Yuko Ogura.

Although obviously overcome with emotion, Ogura-san managed to just about pull herself together enough to proclaim that, “I really appreciate my fans who support me all the time. When I started bikini modelling eight years ago, everybody thought models should have big breasts. But it’s different now. Diversified girls with different characters and shapes can succeed in modelling.”

A well intentioned statement that on closer inspection, however, may,

or indeed may not,

have much merit.