General

It would appear that not only have the Japanese mastered the cloning of humans, but that the law governing such experimentation is decidedly lax. As presumably to cut costs and at the same time promote the nation’s scientific advancements, the organizers for the upcoming 2005 Aichi World Expo have created an efficient and smiling group of staff.

In regards to gadgets and games, the Japanese certainly can’t be accused of lacking ingenuity. But on the other hand, when it comes to committing crime, they aren’t quite so commanding. Far from it in fact.

Only last week a man was arrested for attempting to rob a shop in a full monkey outfit. And then as if to kindly prove the point, a similarly crap criminal was arrested over the weekend for attempting to rob his local convenience store.

The unnamed 48-year-old man entered the store in the early hours of Sunday morning, and covering his face with a towel and brandishing a knife, he demanded money from the cash register. All good up to now you may think, but the store’s manager resisted and tried to fend the would-be robber off. In the ensuing struggle, the bungling thief’s towel slipped and he was immediately recognized. As not only did he live nearby, but he had shopped in the store several times and the manager even knew where he worked.

With the crook’s cover blown, the manager went on the offensive and scolded the scoundrel for his anti-social behaviour, saying, “I know your face. Stop doing this!”

Eventually he did when the police arrived and promptly arrested him on suspicion of attempted robbery. And later during questioning, the captured and incompetent criminal said, “I wanted money. I went for a store near my home,”

A great plan for saving on a bit of bus fare it has to be said, but in the grand scheme of things, probably not the best of ideas.

The Yokohama District Court found a 16-year-old boy guilty of stealing yesterday, and as a result put him on unlimited probation.

After being rumbled by a record shop owner whilst trying to steal a CD, the unnamed youngster would probably have gotten away with just a slap on the wrist. But instead the boy apologized profusely and promised to go home and get the necessary money to pay for the disc.

Contrary to what most people would have expected, the boy was as good as his word, and amazingly returned 20 minutes later to pay the store owner in full. The only problem was he got the money from an old lady’s purse, which he snatched soon after leaving the store. An act that raises considerable doubts about the boy’s morals, but not it has to be said, his resourcefulness.

A deputy head of a local bank in Niigata was arrested last week on suspicion of stealing a cool 58 million yen (290,000 pounds) from his workplace.

It is alleged that 41-year-old Norio Maruyama stole 5,826 notes from the middle of a (presumably substantial) wad of cash kept at his branch. And so as not to draw attention to the missing money, Maruyama-san ingeniously replaced the missing notes with plain pieces of paper cut to the same size.

The scam worked perfectly until 100 million yen worth of cash that had been stored at the bank was transferred to another facility to be replaced with new currency. And whilst it was there an eagle eyed employee spotted the plain paper masquerading as money.

The inventive Maruyama has since been referred to prosecutors on suspicion of theft, although he is said to have categorically denied the allegations.

Rumours that he made the comment from his Condo in Hawaii whilst sipping champagne and entertaining a bevy of beauties have yet to be confirmed.