Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Freaks ahoy

I’ve (kind of) got used to being stared at when I’m out and about. But there’s staring, and then there is staring.

Last weekend whilst on the Yamanote Line (which circles central Tokyo), I could feel someone’s eyes practically boring into me. Turning around, I saw a salary man stood just to the side of my seat, unashamedly staring at my friend and I. He made no attempt to avert his gaze either when I looked him in the eye. So I asked him if there was a problem.

Now I’ve heard all kinds of dumb questions, but his ranks up there with the best of them. In all earnestness he asked.

“Is this your first time on a train?”

How on earth do you respond to such nonsense? I immediately decided you can’t, and after a brief shake of the head went back to talking to my friend. Yet the idiotic question asking salary man continued staring, and just for good measure he glared at us through the carriage window when he got off the train a few stops later.

Sometimes it would be so nice to blend in.

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Kahn can, so he does

Advertising in Japan is big money for foreign stars, so western celebrities pop up here there and everywhere selling all manner of products. And a while ago on this site I mentioned David Beckham and his chocolate promoting activities.

Now whilst acutely envious of the huge wads of cash that these stars get for such work, I can’t blame them for doing it. There’s no question at all that I’d say whatever was needed about chocolate covered almonds if I were being given a hefty pay cheque for my troubles.

But that doesn’t mean to say that I’d promote any product or company. And in these lean economic times for many Japanese, a loan company is one that I wouldn’t touch. Not so German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn.

kahn.jpg

Come on Oliver, do you really need the money so badly? Unfortunately others do, and your famous face may just sway them.

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Smoking manner #3

I’ve already mentioned on this site Japan’s rather novel approach to smoking. And a couple of days ago I posted some photos of Japan Tobacco’s latest smoking manner campaign.

Since then I’ve come across a few more. So without further ado here they are.

dogmanner.jpg

bumpmanner.jpg

This last one is my personal favourite.

cowboymanner.jpg

There’s no way I can top that, so I’m not even going to attempt a witty comment.

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Mildly amusing Japanese-English #7

Sexy football

This is taking liberties a bit, as the phrase isn’t actually used. Not yet that it is. But at the match last Saturday, the crowd were promised a new English footballing expression every home game. And for reasons unknown, sexy football was first out of the bag.

The term was explained at great length, and was even put up on the big screen for added emphasis. It’s just a matter of time now to see if the fans adopt it. I hope so, if only for my own amusement. And if you don’t believe me, here’s photographic evidence.

sexyfootball.jpg

What’s the betting that The referee’s a wanker will be up next?

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Platform performance

At 7:30 in the morning I don’t usually notice much, but when somebody pulls his or her trousers down in the middle of a busy station, it does tend to grab your attention.

Yes, changing trains and heading for the steps recently, I was shocked to see a gentleman stand in the middle of the platform and swiftly pull his trousers (and underwear) down. Then for good measure he adopted a squatting posture. As this is the required position for using a Japanese style toilet, for a split-second I thought he was going to perform his morning bowel movement right there and then on the platform. But thankfully for all concerned he didn’t.

Now in public the Japanese don’t usually give much away, but I’m sure I saw a slight flicker of dread on the faces of those already on the train that the trouser-dropping madman was about to board. What he did when he actually got on the train is anybody’s guess.

Categorized: Odd