Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

Food and Drink

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Tokyo training?

With Japan absolutely jam-packed with vending machines, it’s not exactly difficult for those underage to clandestinely purchase their poison of choice. In fact, for Japanese teens, Tokyo is absolutely teeming with treasures; a party involving plenty of booze, packets of cigarettes and a plethora of porn being easily had — all at the simple push of a button. Making it a pubescent form of perfection of sorts.

Yet not content with young adults getting a taste for the odd tipple, Japanese drink manufacturers are also keen on attracting those even younger. This beer-like beverage unashamedly aimed at the under-10s.

Japanese drink

A commercial for the drink even helping highlight the immeasurable benefits of inebriation. Or at least a sober simulation of it.

However, the presumably high sugar content of each bottle may well make children who consume too much of it ill or indeed irritable, arguably making it just like the real thing — almost.

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Tokyo tubbies

The longevity of the Japanese is fairly well documented, but just in case it needed confirming, the nation’s ladies have once again been lauded as the longest living people in the world. An expected innings of 86 years allowing plenty of time to amass absolutely loads of Louis Vuitton luggage, or alternatively suffer an even longer and lonelier marriage.

Japanese men don’t fare too badly either, with a second place spot behind the chaps of San Marino. A fairly substantial average of 79 possibly making up for the oodles of overtime they’ll be required to put in prior to retirement.

Yet despite these impressive numbers, a slowly changing diet is leading to an increase in the number of those overweight. A situation that has even led to fashion conscious fellas grappling with girdles in an effort to fit into some garments.

But that said, compared with many other countries, the Japanese are still super slim. Not that it has stopped many companies from attempting to cash in on peoples’ fears of becoming fat. The far from obese form of this character for a clinic arguably making the likes of Kate Moss look positively lardy.

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Generous Japan

Japan may well have been dealing with deflation for a decidedly long time, but that hasn’t stopped some shops flogging fancy foodstuffs for inordinately large sums of money. In fact, just over a week or so after a Sapporo department store was selling melons for a million yen each, an Osaka outlet is now trying to market mind bogglingly expensive mushrooms.

Yet whilst they would undoubtedly go well with the aforementioned melons, or alternatively do very nicely for a dinner party — albeit a small one — at 189,000 yen (1,550 dollars) for a packet of three, they are fantastically priced bits of fungus.

Japanese mushrooms

However whilst it does seem like an awful lot of money for a measly amount of food, they are by all accounts an extremely rare type of matsutake mushroom. Making them ideal for shoving in a pie or putting on a pizza perhaps.

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Tokyo tickle

With Tokyo literally teeming with a multitude of maid cafes, all the way from fairly regular cosplay-themed retreats to convent-like coffee shops, it was arguably only a matter of time before a more mature take on the trend was introduced — the cleverly named haunt Hand Maid being decidedly more interested in draining its customers vessels than keeping them topped up.

Japanese hand maid cafe

In fact, dispensing with beverages altogether, the establishment — which has a branch in both Tokyo and Osaka — offers a much more hands-on approach, with its maid uniform-clad staff members offering those who have been palmed off by their partners, or are reluctant to try out some rough and ready robotic relief, a little more of the human touch.

Details of the various specialities on offer can be seen at the official site here, which perhaps predictably also includes a schoolgirl outfit option; however despite the lack of nudity and mostly manga depicted deeds, it’s perhaps not exactly best suited for browsing at work or when grandma is about.

Japanese hand maid cafe

All in all, a place where a myriad of variations are available, provided of course the customer doesn’t decide to rub the staff up the wrong way. Plus, in true maid style, the personal service is second to none, and with bookings also available, the staff are more than happy to wait patiently for each customer to come.

Japanese maid

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Magnificent melons

Whilst mouth-watering melons are popular all over the world, the Japanese in particular are very fond of the big and juicy variety. A point that was amply proven yesterday, when a department store in Sapporo paid a record 2 million yen (8,300 dollar each) for a pair of Yubari cantaloupes. Easily beating the previous but still preposterous price of 400,000 yen.

lovely Japanese melons

A spokesman for the department store in question said that the well-proportioned pair were bought with publicity rather than profit in mind, claiming, “We were bullish in the bidding because we’re celebrating our 135th anniversary this year. We wanted as many customers as possible to see them.”

Whilst one of the melons has rather amazingly been sold, 79-year-old shopper Ryoko Hino summed up the feelings of the majority of Japanese by stating, “It’s not a price I can afford.” An attempt to grab a couple of good-sized coconuts perhaps the best most of us can ever hope for.

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