Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Hell O’Kitty Angels

Leather-clad bikers who simply can’t get enough pussy need worry no more. Whilst Sanrio may not (yet) produce a Hello Kitty motorbike, these new helmets should ease any frustrations for now.

hello kitty helmet

A product that rather fortuitously allows for a whole host of double entendres. The possibilities of pussy, helmet, and tight fitting are seemingly endless, and could keep a schoolboy — or indeed a Tokyo based blogger — happy for months.

However fear not. Due to a lack of time I’ll have to save them for another day. I’m off out on my scooter shortly, and as my helmet hasn’t been used for a day or two, I need to give it a good polish first.

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Sleeve related slumber

With an early (but very strong) entry for the dullest and most pointless research project of the year, Bunka Women’s University professor Teruko Tamura studied the relationship between summer temperatures and the length of men’s sleeves.

In a report that must make for an absolutely riveting read, it was found that about 20 percent of men still wear long sleeves when the temperature exceeds 30 degrees. Women on the other hand are quick to adopt more suitable summer wear. Captivating stuff I think you’ll agree.

japanese shirt
A long sleeve shirt

To acquire these frankly fascinating facts, Tamura-san and her team spent 10 days in June 2001 filming near Tokyo’s busy Shinjuku station. And from their footage they were able to check the clothing of 7,132 sweltering and sweaty men, and 3,699 cool and collected women. This sleeve-based information was then meticulously matched with temperature data from the Meteorological Agency.

japanese shirt
A cooler short sleeve one

Needless to say no life altering findings were uncovered, but Teruko “Temperature” Tamura did conclude that, “Men still seem to be bound by the custom to wear long sleeves even when it’s uncomfortable. Wearing long sleeves when the temperature goes above 25 is unpleasant and is bound to decrease productivity.”

So there you go. Research money very well spent.

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Careless customer

At some time or another we’ve probably all been careless and left something behind. Especially on occasions when alcohol has played a part. But a passenger on a bus in Nagano managed to forget something rather more valuable than a book or a bag. Namely the princely sum of 4 million yen (20,000 pound) in cash.

Personally speaking, even when I’m safely on the train to the airport I continually check my pocket with neurotic zeal to confirm my passport is still there. Needlessly making sure it hasn’t defied the laws of physics and made an unexpected bid for freedom. So heaven knows what obsessive-compulsive disorder I’d end up suffering from were I to find myself in possession of 4 million yen. The owner of the money in question however was far more blasé, as the cash was found casually abandoned in a plastic bag when the bus arrived at its final destination.

As of writing the careless and cash carrying passenger still hasn’t come forward, despite the incident making the news and the money being handed over to the police. Should the stash remain unclaimed for a total of 6 months and 14 days, it will tragically be given to the bus company. And arguably even worse, if the company refuses to accept it, the prefectural government will get the lot.

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Pillow talk

No Japanese model worth her salt is without a stack of DVDs and calendars bearing her image. But the people behind Misako Yasuda have managed to pull off a blinder in the spin-off product department. Namely the Tugging Hugging Pillow.

hugging pillow

The life-size pillow is presumably well made and constructed of resilient material considering it retails at a rather pricey 16,000 yen (80 pound). Meaning a good rub should get rid of even the most troublesome of stains. Its size also means that it could be used to jerk work off a bit of stress as a novelty punch bag. A few thrusts and pokes easing any pent-up frustration.

And for would-be wankers bankers, the option of a pillow and sheets (pictured below) pack for 23,000 yen makes shrewd economic sense. A saving of 2,000 yen (10 pound).

japanese model bed sheets

Ok, that’s enough. You’ll be glad to know I’m schoolboy humoured out.

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Legislating against lewdness

In a move that will no doubt deny this site a lot of sex related posts, the governing Liberal Democratic Party has proposed a new law specifically targeting upskirt photographers and other nefarious users of concealed cameras.

Not that such activity isn’t already illegal, but currently anyone caught up to no good can only be prosecuted under prefectural ordinances and the Minor Offence Law. Meaning many perpetrators get away with just a small fine. And perhaps if they are famous or hold a public position, a spot of unwanted publicity too.

The new legislation is expected to include (at the very least) a unified set of penalties for the misuse of concealed cameras. Punishment for those who knowingly sell images taken with such devices. And owners of places like hotels and public baths being forced to protect their patrons from unwittingly becoming stars of films or websites

The news of this proposed legislation comes at a time when the use of hidden cameras is said to be reaching epidemic proportions. Figures from the National Police Agency state there were 1,892 arrests and apprehensions for upskirt photography and concealed camera use last year. But the actual figure is said to be considerably higher as those arrested for trespassing were not included.

But with these changes in the law, and women only carriages becoming widespread, what’s next for the nation’s devious deviants?