Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

Sex

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Group groping

Last week, five university students were arrested on suspicion of attempting to grope a woman on an early morning commuter train.

Now unfortunately groping on trains isn’t the least bit uncommon, although such an organized team effort is. And what makes this story more unusual (and unsavoury) is that the poor woman involved was already under police protection following a similar attack in November.

Luckily this protection was in place when the group moved in, and all five members were arrested on the spot as they tried to touch her. The woman was quoted as saying that the suspects were in the same group that had molested her previously, and the police report stated that the students had agreed to specific roles, with some of them doing the groping whilst the others were on lookout duties.

The mind boggles, it really does…

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Sexy Santa

The Japanese don’t celebrate Christmas, not in the conventional sense anyway (whatever that is), but with Christmas decorations everywhere it’s often easy to forget.

However implementing the national trait of taking an idea, making it infinitely better, and then reintroducing it to the world, I present to you miniskirt Santa.

miniskirt santa

Yes, for a measly 3,000 yen (15 pounds), anyone feeling like a bit of a festive frolic can go and visit miniskirt Santa. And as the picture suggests, Santa is not an overweight man with a yellowing beard and bad breath. Rather an attractive young lady with a penchant for showing her legs.

Which leaves the question, who’s is going to sit on whose knee?

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Used panty purchasers beware

Whilst the selling of used underwear in Tokyo is now illegal, from all accounts the trade in such items is still brisk. As despite shops now receiving hefty fines if caught in possession, a burgeoning cottage industry has developed to counter the ban, allowing panty perverts to still get their fix.

But this rather amusing video highlights the potential pitfalls of panty purchasing.

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Perverted police

From the number of reports that make the news concerning policemen and unlawful sexual activities, it would almost appear that deviancy is a requirement for entrance. Whether it be sex with under-age girls, groping, or unconventional photography, the police force appears to have more than its fair share of perpetrators.

But judging by recent events, this deviant disease seems to have spread to those merely associated with the police. As a 48-year-old accountant who worked for the Kyoto prefectural police has been caught taking photos up the skirt of a 36-year-old woman in Osaka. The man had hidden a digital camera in a shopping bag, and then proceeded to follow his victim around the streets and then into a bookstore. Presumably all the time partaking in his special brand of photography.

Despite their own poor record on such matters, the police force said they were outraged by such activities. With a spokesman saying, “Using hidden cameras to take photos of people is unacceptable behaviour for anybody, let alone an employee of the police force. We’ll do what we can to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.”

Whilst not fired for his actions, the accountant handed in his resignation after being issued a severe reprimand. And although not reported, it was presumably accepted. Perhaps after he’d explained to similar minded officerｓ his camera-in-a-shopping-bag technique and more importantly the mistakes he made getting caught.

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Champion chat-up line

Japan’s falling birth-rate could soon become a thing of the past, as a panel of experts has come up with the ultimate chat-up line. A collection of words so potent that it may mean love hotels will once again be bustling with busy couples, and the fruits of their labour keeping the nation’s midwives in gainful employment.

So any wannabee wooers, just remember these 8 simple words. “Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waretteiyoh.” Or if that’s a bit of a mouthful and your target doesn’t happen to be a Japanese speaker, the English translation is, “This time next year, lets be laughing together.” So there you go. Just utter those words and you’ll be in. Simple as that.

The line supposedly creates its passion power through word triggers. Each said to work on a subconscious level. However combined in one sentence, they can prove to be irresistible.

This time next year helps suggest that a quick bit of how’s-your-father and a blunt sayonara is not the users intention, and together gives the impression that even after an extended period of time the relationship will still be fresh. Plus laughing not only hints at a sense of humour, but also an element of cheekiness and a lightness of heart.

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Serge Gainsbourg. An early pioneer?

Other advantages are that it is in no way sleazy, and at the same time relatively simple. Giving even the most tongue-tied Romeo the opportunity of blurting out the words with some degree of success and clarity.

But before you rush off and put the theory into practice, a few words of caution. Whilst the line’s creators’ claim it can be used anywhere, they believe it favours a few particular situations. Using it on someone you have seen before but never spoken too is ideal, as is a location such as a coffee shop. The panel however is reluctant to promote its effectiveness in noisy places such as bars and clubs.

Other than that, woo away!