Dear Tokyo Times
Like Rod who wrote in recently, I’ve also been offered a job in Japan, but personally I’m much more interested in the females than the food. So without wanting to sound too desperate, do you have any advice about getting myself a Japanese girlfriend?
Hardly being a legendary Lothario myself JJ, I’m not perhaps the best person to give advice on such matters, but for starters, at least a basic knowledge of brands would undoubtedly serve you well. Big name bags along the lines of Louis Vuitton are incredibly popular with the ladies, so being able to pick out a Prada from a Puma would certainly be helpful. And with this in mind, the purchase of such products as presents is guaranteed to make you very popular indeed.
Immersing yourself in the complexities of ‘cuteness’ is arguably also a must, with the ability to coo uncontrollably over Chihuahuas or cry out ‘kawaii’ at a new haircut producing plenty of opportunities.
And it goes without saying that feigning interest in famous felines will be a big aid in your action-related ambitions.
Perhaps most of all though, just being yourself and ignoring such stereotypical claptrap is best.