Tokyo Times

There’s drunk, and then there is drunk. And an unnamed 21-year-old policeman from Nara was definitely the latter. As after a night of carousing he entered a stranger’s house and enjoyed the use of their bath.

This impromptu dip resulted in the local police station getting a call around 11pm last Friday saying, “A strange man is in my bath.” Perhaps not the most common of complaints it has to be said, but upon arriving at the house, the police officers found their young colleague from the community affairs department indulging in a long and relaxing soak. Although admittedly one that came to a very abrupt end as he was promptly arrested for trespassing.

It turns out that the bath-loving buffoon had entered the house through an unlocked back door, and without any fuss headed straight for the tub. A mistake made even worse by that fact that he lives a mere 50 metres away.

Upon his arrest the suspect was apparently unable to stand up straight, and told the officers present that, “I thought it was my house.” But due to the embarrassing nature of the case, an official of the police station tried to minimize any bad publicity by adding, “While this was something caused by alcohol, it’s truly regrettable. We want to be more thorough in our instruction of members.”

If nothing else though, the young officer will have plenty of understanding colleagues to turn to

Any cat owners that felt left out by the introduction of dog dye can now rest easy, as having a day-glo dog is arguably nothing compared to the humiliating horrors CatPrin has dreamed up.

And while the company’s creations are an easy target for mirth and merriment, CatPrin does such an inadvertently humorous job of describing its own products that I need merely copy and paste its sales pitch.

CATPRIN, a tailor for cats. Ever imagined dressing up your lovely cat into a fabulous beauty? You don’t have to dress her everyday, in fact she might not feel comfortable with a dress on for days. Just dress her up only on special occasions like her birthday, takes a photo and that should leave you lots of memories and fantasies.

1. Dress her up. Cheer or yell, do whatever you like to enjoy the moment with your family.

2. After you are enough with your joy, take a photo! Take some poses and leave her some cute photos!

3. Remove her clothes and give her a hub, say “Thank you!”

But if you think that’s a bit odd, wait until you see the pictures. For starters, how about transforming your cat into a cute little rabbit?

And if that’s not endearing enough, why not opt for the chirpy chick outfit?

However, for those of you preferring something a little less cutesy, there is always an elephant.

Or a wizard perchance?

Needless to say I could happily post these foolish looking felines forever, but that’s probably enough.

There again, I can’t leave out the frog can I?

For more feline fun, CatPrin has an English version of its site which you can enjoy at your leisure by clicking here.

A mistake by a farm worker in Hokkaido last week resulted in a mind boggling 500 tonnes of cow urine overflowing from a reservoir. Although this is a piddling amount considering that it was only being moved because a 3,000 tonne capacity tank was already full to the brim with the unpleasant liquid.

Due to this unfeasibly large amount of discharge, the unfortunate farm hand was transferring the waste product to another reservoir when he went home and forgot to switch off the pump. Returning to work at 4 a.m. the next day, the man found that his blunder had caused 500 tonnes of urine to run into an irrigation channel. This itself would have been bad enough, but part of the channel runs into a river branch, which to add to the worker’s woe has two spawning points for trout and salmon.

Now unfortunately my farming and urine collection knowledge is minimal at best, and subsequently there are a few parts of this story that I find difficult to comprehend. For starters, what use does the urine have? I’m presuming it does have some purpose, as surely there would be no need to stockpile it otherwise. And secondly, whilst I’m probably better off not knowing, having never seen a cow toilet, how on earth does one go about collecting cow urine?