Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

Culture

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Bodily functions

Coming from the UK, I find bodily functions an endless source of amusement. In fact, many a British comedian has based his/her career around good old-fashioned toilet humour. And as far as I’m concerned, long may they continue to do so.

For the Japanese however, our daily functions are just that. Simply natural and necessary actions. And definitely not something deemed worthy of laughter.

Now whilst many would commend such an adult approach, it can lead to a certain directness. And at times an unnecessary attention to detail. As an example, take a look at this sign spotted in a park near my home. I’m sure the message in regards to dogs and their business would be just as clear without the added steam.

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It did make me laugh though.

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Love hotel athletics

With Japan (and especially Tokyo) being so densely populated, there is a distinct lack of privacy. And for those times when you are feeling a little amorous, there is thankfully no shortage of love hotels.

These can be just basic rooms hired out for a specific period of time. However for the more adventures, there are numerous themed hotels to pick from. Fancy a bit in mock castle, or a heart shaped bed? No worries, as you’ll be sure to find one if you look hard enough. This one relatively near my apartment is a little on the conservative side. It has a nice name though.

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Not only do these hotels provide some much needed privacy, but they also appear to help people get over their inhibitions. As Judging by a recent article in the Mainichi Daily News, love hotels have the ability to bring out the devil in many visitors.

A 26 year-old sales lady told Spa! magazine that “love hotels are all about sex, so my aim is to do it as much as possible. My best record is eight times.”

Eight times. My word! As rooms are hired by set time limits, I’d like to think that she was there for the longer of the two options. Which is rather coyly named stay. Although that’s not as misleading as the short stay, which is preposterously billed as rest.

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And whilst this 28 year-old hotel goer seems a little peeved by her man’s behaviour, I can see where he’s coming from.

“It’s more exciting when you lock together as soon as you’ve closed the door, instead of trying to be calm about what you do. If the guy suddenly turns on the TV, I tend to think, ‘What the hell has this guy come here for?'”

Fair enough I guess, but what if there’s a big game on TV?

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Graduation Day

Yesterday we had the graduation ceremony at the junior high school I work at.

A joyous day one would imagine, but in any formal situation the Japanese are fond of long-winded speeches. Yet any speech encountered during the year pales in comparison to those at the borefest that is graduation day.

It feels like every man and his dog are required to speak. With each and every one of them going on, and on, and…

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At one point I was half expecting Fidel Castro to make an appearance, and round the proceedings off with a 6-hour finale. Sadly he wouldn’t have been out of place, although his military attire and bushy beard might have caused something of a stir.

Those poor kids.

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I don’t get it

This is a sweeping generalization I know, but as a race the Japanese are usually very reserved. They don’t like to speak out in public, or in any way draw unnecessary attention to themselves. Coming from Britain I can easily understand this mindset, and don’t really have any problems with it.

But what I can’t understand is behaviour that contradicts this, yet at the same time is accepted (or at least ignored). I’ve lost count of the number of things I’ve seen people doing on the train, which I (as an equally reserved Englishman) would never dream of doing in public. Simply for the fear of being openly ridiculed. Or at the very least stared at.

Here are a few of the things I’ve witnessed on the train.

1. Commuters cutting their nails.
2. Bizarre and elaborate stretching exercises.
3. A man cleaning out his ears with a cotton bud.
4. Women (and occasionally men) putting make-up on.
5. Salary men openly reading pornography.

And my personal favourite (which unfortunately I didn’t see, but was informed about through a frantically typed text message), was a woman shaving another woman’s forehead and eyebrows on the station platform. I kid you not.

The thing is, how can these people not be even slightly embarrassed performing such activities on a busy train (or platform)? Especially in overly self conscious Japan. And how come nobody stares, or looks on in disbelief? Yet when I get on the train, countless people stare just because I’ve got brown hair, a tall nose, and blue eyes.

That can’t be right. Can it?

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Must follow arrows. Must follow arrows.

Yesterday I painted a rather bleak picture of salary men and their work dominated lifestyles. But maybe I was being a little unfair, as it has to be said that their existence is not all work and no play.

As well as drinking with their boss, salary men do have other hobbies. Dancing is rather surprisingly one of them.

Take it away Watanabe-san!

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