General

The ubiquitous political polls tell us that President Bush’s reign is far from popular. Similarly, his cohort in Britain is suffering from equally dismal figures. Yet whilst important, such findings are almost inconsequential when compared to the recent discoveries of television programme ‘Trivia no Izumi’.

Dutifully translated and kindly published by What Japan Thinks, the in-depth current affairs show found that a whopping 43% of Japanese husbands had to suffer the indescribable discomfort of hearing their wife break wind in only the first year of marriage.

As the pie chart above graphically demonstrates, Japanese ladies appear to simply fart for fun; with nearly half of them practically pumping their way through the first year of marriage. Equally unsettling is that a staggering 29% couldn’t even manage two years without reeling off the odd rasper.

That’s not to say the poll — which interviewed 1000 Japanese husbands — doesn’t offer a slight glimmer of hope though, as a disappointing but still significant 12% of wives never upset their partner by emitting an audible bottom burp.

However rather sadly, the poll didn’t include data on the infamous ‘silent but deadly’ variety of discharge.

Can’t decide how to wow that special woman in your life this Christmas? Looking to buy something a bit out of the ordinary?

Well, you’ll be glad to know that perpetual ladies’ man Fukuyama Masaharu has released a special 15th anniversary DVD box set. Rather appropriately titled the ‘Fukuyama Masaharu 15th anniversary special DVD box’. And very nice it is too.

However if you want to get your hands on this unique gift, you’d better get a move on. Only one has been made, and Jewellery shop Ginza Tanaka is selling it. The other drawback is that as it’s made of 24-karat gold and weighs 15kg, it is rather expensive. A whopping 50 million yen’s worth of expense to be exact. That’s a cool 235,000 pound.

Still, if it’s already been bought or money is an issue, Amazon is selling a slightly less shiny cardboard version for a far more festive 8,000 yen (37 pound).

She’ll probably never know the difference.

Women-only trains might be considered a rather drastic measure by some people, but the introduction of such a service was at least based on legitimate reasons. Convenience store chain am/pm’s plan to open a shop called ‘Happily’ that targets only female shoppers however is on slightly less solid ground.

Initially set to open on a trial basis in Tokyo’s Minato Ward, the store will sell precooked food, desserts, and in a nod to its targeted clientele, cosmetics. The fella-free feel will also be enhanced by all the staff being women — except at nighttime, when suitably effeminate men will presumably be on duty. Plus as an added touch to bring the punters in, the ladies’ room will be furnished with a dressing table.

‘Happily’ is set to fling open its doors on December 19, and if I can get hold of an outfit that makes me into a passable female, I may have to go in and surreptitiously lift up the toilet seat.

Whilst a trip to see the doctor can be disconcerting even at the best of times, the arrest of ‘Doctor’ Yamashiro yesterday can only add to potential feelings of uncertainty and apprehension. As after 8 successful years working at around 20 medical institutions, it turns out that the good doctor isn’t a doctor after all.

The 33-year-old fraudster was eventually arrested for prescribing drugs without a licence to a 49-year-old patient. Now whether or not Yamashiro’s diagnosis was correct or not wasn’t disclosed, but hopefully it was, as he is also employed at two other private hospitals in Tokyo. The phoney physician earning a cool 20 million yen (95,000 pound) a year for his services.

It turns out that Yamashiro-san never even attended medical school. In fact his only link to the profession was being hired as a trainee in 1997 by Hiroo General Hospital, although records there show that he failed to participate in any medical procedures whatsoever.

That said, the young chap must have had an excellent bedside manner, as one of the hospitals he has been working at said it hadn’t received a single complaints about the ‘doctor’. An official of the institution deftly washing his hands of the incident by blithely saying that the impostor had been hired through a recruitment agency; therefore his credentials couldn’t be checked.

Such a blasé response being more than a little worrying.