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General

Oct 13 2005 2 Comments

Teacher tirade

“Simple logical thinking is beyond them. Their vocabulary is childish, their grasp of mathematics feeble, their curiosity nowhere in evidence.”

Saitama University Professor Tsuneharu Okabe, expressing astonishment and indignation at the immaturity and ignorance of many students.

Other than that, you couldn’t wish for a better a group of people to entrust the future of your country with.

Categorized: General

Oct 11 2005 1 Comment

Valve victims

It would appear that the police in Wakaba-ku, Chiba prefecture, aren’t exactly run off their feet, as after being on the look out for an air releasing tire terror, they have finally got their man.

After around 100 complaints in the last six months from distraught bicycle owners, plus an official report from a neighbourhood association, an unnamed 79-year-old man is now safely behind bars. Well, he’s been arrested anyway — on the laughable charge of ‘wilful destruction of property’. Accused of damaging the valve on one of the tires he let down before his eventual capture on Sunday.

valve

The compressed air criminal has since admitted to the allegations, claiming he did it for a bit of attention. Glumly saying, “Nobody will give me any time and I was feeling lonely.”

Rumours that the Wakaba police are now hot on the heels of a local litter lout have yet to be confirmed. Although forensic experts are said to be examining several discarded cola cans for evidence.

Categorized: General

Oct 04 2005 2 Comments

Canine commuters

The treatment of dogs in Japan is becomingly increasingly bizarre, with canine clothes now practically compulsory — the spoilt little mutts boasting bigger wardrobes than most men. Plus as well as sporting designer goods, they are partial to the odd drop of ‘wine’. A few even getting married.

With this in mind, it should come as no surprise that the Kyushu Railway Company has come under scrutiny for its treatment of animals. Specifically the baggage tickets issued for commuting canines and cats.

In the past, this system of ‘personal baggage’ worked well, however recently these tickets have started to irritate picky pet owners, with the word ‘awful’ (amongst other things) being used to describe them. So in a bid to stop this trifling matter escalating into pet pandemonium, the railway company has stepped in and issued appropriately cute ‘pet cards’ to appease the complainers.

rail pet card

A card that cuddly young Qoo-chan should be absolutely delighted with.

nasty dog

Categorized: General, Travel

Sep 29 2005 2 Comments

Odour offence

With the humidity finally beginning to dissipate, it’s nice to find out that it is not just pasty-faced foreigners that suffer terribly during Japan’s long and muggy summer months; as a man that was allegedly forced to quit his job due to excessive body odour has recently been arrested for making prank calls to his former employer.

Yoshikazu Ishiwata it seems has admitted to the allegations of phone misconduct, with the 42-year-old also accused of starting obscene conversations when any of the company’s female employees answered the telephone.

It turns out that the perspiring prankster only worked for the Yokohama based business for two months, claiming, “The fact that I sweat easily and have body odour became a problem, so I had no choice but to quit.” Company officials however disagree with this version of events, a spokesperson saying, “We were telling him to watch his body odour and sweating because he was a sales clerk. But he sweated easily in summer. He quit of his own accord after talks with us.”

All very embarrassing to say the least, but whichever version is correct, it is to be hoped that Ishiwata-san has got his carefree summer sweating under control — or at least bought some decent deodorant — as he is now employed as a taxi driver. The combination of a confined space and a heavily perspiring driver conjuring up very unpleasant feelings indeed.

Categorized: General

Sep 28 2005 6 Comments

Class A clots

Unlike my native Britain, Japan doesn’t have an A, B, and C classification for illegal substances. And despite the slackening of laws concerning the possession and use of cannabis in some parts of the world, Japan is having none of it. It’s class A all the way.

just say no japan

This zero tolerance approach means that whilst available, drugs are somewhat harder to find. More expensive too. Facts that may have been a contributing factor in the arrest of two men on Saturday.

Instead of whooping it up downtown, the two presumably inexperienced drug users were found asleep in their car. An act that generally wouldn’t arouse much suspicion, except the pair had chosen to park in the middle of the road. Plus to make matters worse, they opted for a national route in Tokyo’s busy Setagaya district.

A total of 12.9 grammes of cannabis were found on the pair, with 25-year-old Okimaru Fukazawa managing to mutter, “I bought the drugs from an Iranian in Ueno.” Before presumably nodding off again.

Categorized: General

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