General

Nov 11 2004 Leave a Comment

Burglar busted

Thankfully in Japan burglary isn’t the problem it is back in my native Britain. Admittedly it does (according to the press) appear to be on the rise, but most houses/apartments happily make do with just a basic lock on the front door. A multitude of locks on entrances and windows, plus alarms and sensors everywhere is simply unheard of.

But that doesn’t mean it never happens, as the trial this week of 42-year-old Shinya Yamaguchi proves. Having made a virtual career out of house theft for the last 20 years or so, Yamaguchi was finally brought to justice and sentenced to 5 1/2 years in prison.

In court Mr. Yamaguchi was described as someone who had difficulty getting along with others ever since being bullied at elementary school. And after leaving high school he never managed to hold down a job for any length of time. Unless of course burglary can be classed as an occupation.

But this isn’t to say that Yamaguchi-san wasn’t enterprising. With his ill-gotten gains he managed to build himself a three-story house with part of the 50,000,000 yen (250,000 pounds) he saved. And by limiting himself to a 30,000 yen (150 pounds) a month budget, he was happily putting money away for his old age.

Yet despite this, the judge showed some leniency, saying that Yamaguchi, “has expressed regret for his actions, through such gestures as offering to sell his house to compensate victims of his crimes.” Maybe the very solitary life led by the serial burglar also pushed the judge towards compassion. The court saying that he lived alone, had no real friends, and spent most of his time listening to music.

Unfortunately that just happened to be on stolen audio equipment.

Nov 04 2004 3 Comments

Super star

I have no idea whether this balloon-cum-light combination is an early Christmas decoration, a jubilant Bush supporter’s celebration (Mr. Koizumi perhaps?), or simply a novel bit of frivolity. But whatever its purpose, on a clear night it certainly brightens the otherwise dull view from a nearby station platform.

Nov 01 2004 1 Comment

Champion chat-up line

Japan’s falling birth-rate could soon become a thing of the past, as a panel of experts has come up with the ultimate chat-up line. A collection of words so potent that it may mean love hotels will once again be bustling with busy couples, and the fruits of their labour keeping the nation’s midwives in gainful employment.

So any wannabee wooers, just remember these 8 simple words. “Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waretteiyoh.” Or if that’s a bit of a mouthful and your target doesn’t happen to be a Japanese speaker, the English translation is, “This time next year, lets be laughing together.” So there you go. Just utter those words and you’ll be in. Simple as that.

The line supposedly creates its passion power through word triggers. Each said to work on a subconscious level. However combined in one sentence, they can prove to be irresistible.

This time next year helps suggest that a quick bit of how’s-your-father and a blunt sayonara is not the users intention, and together gives the impression that even after an extended period of time the relationship will still be fresh. Plus laughing not only hints at a sense of humour, but also an element of cheekiness and a lightness of heart.

Serge Gainsbourg. An early pioneer?

Other advantages are that it is in no way sleazy, and at the same time relatively simple. Giving even the most tongue-tied Romeo the opportunity of blurting out the words with some degree of success and clarity.

But before you rush off and put the theory into practice, a few words of caution. Whilst the line’s creators’ claim it can be used anywhere, they believe it favours a few particular situations. Using it on someone you have seen before but never spoken too is ideal, as is a location such as a coffee shop. The panel however is reluctant to promote its effectiveness in noisy places such as bars and clubs.

Other than that, woo away!

Oct 26 2004 3 Comments

Feeling foreign

Takeshi Kotsuka, the former president of Hawks Town (the operator of the Fukuoaka Dome baseball stadium), has been arrested for molesting two female employees.

The company had already sacked the 57-year-old Kotsuka at the end of last month for committing “serious illegal acts”, but since then his victims have filed criminal complaints against him. Specifically for unrequested hugs and kisses.

Whilst not denying the charges, Mr. Kotsuka however remains unrepentant. In fact in his mind he seems to believe he was doing the young ladies a favour, as he went on the record as saying, “I hug my female employees and kiss them, but I think they enjoy it.” But that is arguably nothing compared to his repost when accused of openly fondling and kissing employees. In Kotsuka-san’s world, such behaviour is “a kind of communication,” and (this is the best bit) “such practices are common in America and Europe.”

With this in mind it’s a wonder any work at all gets done in Europe and America, what with all the kissing, groping, and general molestation…

Oct 19 2004 1 Comment

Yahoo! Indeed

Not long ago it was almost impossible to get away from (or into) a train station without being hounded by Yahoo! BB sales people. But as irritating as I found it, the ploy worked a treat, as the broadband internet service is now the most popular in Japan.

And like any successful venture, Yahoo! has not rested on its laurels. Having secured a healthy user base, the company has scaled down the hassling-people-at-the-station line of attack, and opted for the more conventional hire-an-attractive-young-model-to-promote-your-product approach.

So Yahoo’s lady of the moment is the young and pretty Aya Ueto.