Photographs from a small group of islands
kokku-san. This is the Japanese pronunciation of cook (and a word that is also used for chef).
Even though I’ve been here for over 5 years, the cry of kokku-san never fails to amuse me. Kokku obviously sounds like cock, with the added san being a polite term similar to Mr. (or Ms.). So it means that after years of study and hard work, a chef ends up saddled with the name Mr. Cock.
As comedy goes, I know it’s not exactly high brow, but you’ve got to admit it’s pretty funny. No?
Hole-in-one
If this was used on the golf course it wouldn’t be amusing at all, but when you hear it chanted in a football stadium, it does have a certain novelty value.
I’m not sure if it’s a chant used by all Japanese football fans, as I only go and watch FC Tokyo, but every game I’ve been to it’s been sung (shouted?) at least once. Yet despite my best efforts, I still can’t work out its meaning. No event on the pitch as far as I’m concerned has warranted a cry of hole-in-one. Nor do I ever expect one to.
Admittedly I could find out by simply asking somebody, but then the mystery would be gone. And quite possibly the amusement factor too. Because not only is the chant entertaining in itself, but it is often accompanied by fans making an “O†shape with their arms. The “O†presumably depicting a hole.
Work that one out.
Recently at my school, we had the rather tedious task of teaching the second graders (13 year olds) tag questions. After wowing them with such fascinating examples as,
You are from Japan, aren’t you?
and
You can play baseball, can’t you?
they seemed ready to have a go themselves. So, on the board we wrote,
You _______ her, don’t you?
The usual eager students (3 of them) put their hands up, and the chosen one confidently shouted out his answer, adding extra emphasis to the missing word.
You DO her, don’t you?
Sadly, in a class full of schoolboys (and schoolgirls), it was left to the 34 year old English teacher to laugh furtively. A great opportunity missed.
You would have found it funnier if you’d been there, wouldn’t you?
Beckham hair (pronounced be-ka-mu he-a).
The term was coined during the 2002 World Cup, when David Beckham attained the status of footballing/celebrity deity. In reference to the Holy One’s elegantly coiffured bouffant, anybody with a mohawk since then has been referred to as simply Beckham hair.
Despite Mr. Beckham changing his hairstyle several times since, the expression has stood the test of time. Still being in common use today. Beckham corn-row on the other hand failed to make an impact.
A male virgin is known as a cherry boy (pronounced che-ri bo-i).
It amuses me anyway.