Tokyo Times

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Television

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In the navy!

I can vaguely remember the commercials shown on British TV for the military (or at least the Territorial Army). Joining up was made to look like a bit of an adventure, which mostly seemed to involve lots of sneaking about at night with a blackened face and a big gun. And if that didn’t tempt you, you could apparently learn new skills, solve life-threatening problems, and enjoy the comradery of your fellow soldiers.

The Japanese Marine Self Defense Force however seems to be taking a rather different approach. There’s certainly no roaming around in the dark in its new commercial. Not a gun to be seen either, as the closing line is We love Japan. We love peace. And it has to be said, the comradery on offer seems to be of a slightly different variety.

Click on the picture to see the commercial in all its glory, but be warned that it can take a bit of a while to appear. It’s worth it though.

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Where’s the biker and the construction worker?

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Step aside Tiger

Due to the history between the two nations, and the more recent worries of nuclear weapons, you wont be surprised to know that Kim Jong-Il is a popular topic on Japanese TV. And with North Korea’s illustrious leader celebrating his 62nd birthday just recently, the bouffanted one was treated to something akin to a TV special.

We were shown the usual pictures of mass celebrations, but more intriguing were a few biographical details that the presenter mentioned. Now we all know that Kim Jong-Il is prone to the occasional fib, but nobody is perfect. I think we’ve all been guilty of embellishing our CV now and again, or talking up a past performance.

Yet one so called fact was a little too hard to swallow. According to government sources, Kim Jong-Il’s best round of golf was a mind boggling 34. That’s 38-under-par. And in the same round he managed 5 hole-in-ones! If that wasn’t enough, supposedly it was his first ever game too.

The thing is, if it is actually true, what on earth is he doing troubling himself with all the problems involved in running a poverty stricken country? With a talent like that, he could make an absolute fortune on the PGA Tour. He’d certainly give that young upstart Tiger Woods a run for his money.

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No silly golfing slacks for Kim “hot shot” Jong-Il

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Tyson the good

Mike Tyson has recently been making a lot of appearances on Japanese TV (although all of it filmed in the U.S., as he isn’t allowed into the country). And after reading this over at Hammersuit, I now know why.

But for reasons unknown, on these shores Tyson seems to have gained the reputation of being a thoroughly decent fellow. An example of this was as at school yesterday. The students were involved in a game that had them writing a short story in English. To my surprise, one of the groups started their story with the line,

“Mike Tyson is a very nice boy.”

It has to be said, that certainly makes a change from the usual descriptions aimed in his direction.

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Mike “nice boy” Tyson with a close friend last week

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Beckham in Japan

I’ve mentioned before on this site how David Beckham has managed to attain god-like status in Japan. He’s the lord of fashion, a hairstyling guru, and at times even a half-decent footballer. But in an attempt to embellish his CV even further, he’s recently taken on the role of chocolate covered foodstuff promoter.

Now Mr. Beckham has made some pretty woeful commercials for Japanese TV, but his latest offering in support of Fran chocolate is arguably his worst.

Brace yourself, and then click here for the full ad in all its misconceived glory. And as David philosophically suggests, be sweet!

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Some deranged fans and chocolate lovers last week

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Shit happens

I’d forgotten all about this, but I remembered it this morning. For reasons unconnected with the incident I hasten to add. Such a disclaimer will become understandable shortly.

During the holidays, the missus was watching television, and as I walked into the living room, I saw glimpse of a TV talent running off screen. He looked somewhat embarrassed and was certainly in something of a rush. This speedy departure was greeted with a mixture of laughter and disgust from the studio audience and his fellow TV celebs.

Having no idea what was going on, I said to the missus

“What’s he doing? Why as he just run off?”

“He’s just shit in his pants” was her swift and decidedly frank answer.

“Oh” was the most I could manage in response.

I waited a little while for some kind of explanation, or a little bit of elaboration, but none was forthcoming. She just carried on watching the show as though nothing especially out of the ordinary had occurred. Maybe it hadn’t.

It left only one option. I quietly turned around and left the room.