The rancid nature of racism certainly doesn’t need reiterating on these pages, although despite its nefarious nature, it can be combated.
That said, some methods are distinctly more desirable
than others.
Tokyo retaliation
Upskirt upstart
The huge range of reasonably priced digital cameras means that every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Taro, Daisuke and Hiroshi even) has a photographic device of some description, which more often than not is ready to be whipped out when least expected — and even less appreciated. Yet whereas a secret snap of a sake sodden spree is one thing, the unobserved picture of an unknown person’s underwear is another altogether.
Not that such antisocial artistry is uncommon.
Surreptitious and tech-savvy sergeants it seems like to ply their trade with updated umbrellas, whereas sandal-wearing schoolmasters opt for photo capable footwear. And perhaps lacking a little confidence, students ply their trade in packs, carefully planning their desired composition. Plus for those still feeling their way in the field of furtive photography, there’s always the Japanese upskirt picture taking training game to help get to grips with things.
However despite such codes of conduct, perhaps inevitably there are a few rule-breaking renegades, with this young panty pervert showing nothing but contempt for convention.
Busily going about his business with bold and blatant his only watchwords.
(priceless image via the FG forums)
Ginza gallop
Not wanting to miss out on all the hullabaloo surrounding the birth of Prince Hisahito, Japanese jewellery giant Ginza Tanaka has created a commemorative gift; however in keeping with the company’s elaborate and hugely expensive ‘special editions’, it’s a sumptuously shiny 24-karat gold rocking horse.
Weighing in at 30 kilogrammes and retailing at a rattlingly royal 150 million yen (677,000 pound)*, the ‘toy’ is currently a one-off, although there is an option of producing more depending on orders, with a spokeswoman saying, “Due to the costliness of this pony, we haven’t received an order yet, although we have received inquiries.”
Yet for any parents looking for something that little bit special for their offspring, and more concerned with fun than finance, it was also confirmed that, “its seat is very smooth and easy to sit on. The child can sit on it for long hours without getting tired.”
A fact sure to substantially boost sales.
*Grinning child dressed like a middle-aged golfer not included.
Hello Kitty compound
Behind the electrified fence and countless guards, those at Tokyo’s branch of the evil Hello Kitty empire produce more and more mind-boggling merchandise; thousands of them working away whilst the phenomenally famous feline silently looks on.
Yet despite the secrecy and security, a chance conversation with a departing dispatch driver appeared to suggest that helping contribute to the cat’s quest for world domination does have its perks, with the young fella happily boasting, “It’s wall-to-wall pussy in there.â€
Or something along those lines — possibly minus the predictable and preposterously poor pussy pun.
Dan dare
For the Zenkoku Teishu Kanpaku Kyokai (the National Chauvinistic Husbands Association), September 9th was considered an important date, as it marked the first ever meeting in Tokyo of the 260-member-strong organisation. An event that saw around 20 members gather outside Shinbashi Station to chant the group’s ‘Three Principles of Love’ — “Say ‘sorry’ without fear; say ‘thank you’ without hesitation; and say ‘I love you’ without shame.”
Based in Kurume, Fukuoka Prefecture, the association was founded in 1999 by Shuichi Amano, who got the shock of his life when he heard his wife was considering a divorce. “At that time, I realised I had no idea what she was thinking about even though she has been the closest person to me. The day after she told me what was on her mind, I started taking out the rubbish, cleaning the bathtub and paying attention to my wife.”
By creating the organisation, the 54-year-old hoped to help other Japanese husbands also floundering with their family duties, although in reality the focus of most meetings is to rank others on their behaviour and expressions of love — a system that rates husbands from a feeble first dan to an almost farfetched tenth, the latter’s dizzy heights only being achieved by one member.
1st dan: He is still in love with his wife after three years of marriage.
2nd dan: He helps out with the housework.
3rd dan: He has never cheated on his wife — or alternatively has never been caught.
4th dan: He is comfortable with a ‘ladies first’ policy.
5th dan: He can walk with his wife whilst holding her hand.
6th dan: He can listen to his wife seriously.
7th dan: He can solve problems between his wife and his mother in one evening.
8th dan: He is able to say ‘thank you’ without hesitation.
9th dan: He is able to say ‘sorry’ without fear.
10th dan: He can say ‘I love you’ without any embarrassment.
Relatively new member, Shoichi Oba, was lucky enough to achieve 3rd dan status immediately after joining, despite having something of a rocky past. “I used to think that my wife should obey me in whatever I told her. My relationships with my wife and daughter soured, and I thought they were wrong and that they should change. I decided to do something I had never done before: Now I wash dishes after breakfast and get up early in the morning to see my daughter off with my wife.†Such commitment to the cause recently leading Oba-san to apply for the rank of 4th dan, but long-term members turned him down, rather harshly claiming the 46-year-old needs to try even harder.
However such severity would presumably be supported by the owner of the organisation’s only 10th dan, Yoshimichi Itahashi; a 65-year-old who claims that the key to becoming a loving husband is to understand your wife’s loneliness, sadness and complaints.
Yet when allegedly quizzed about his views on the perennial toilet seat up or down dilemma, the marital master was unusually non-committal.