Tokyo Times

Sep 05 2006 7 Comments

Never-ending nepotism?

Prime Minister Koizumi’s reign is almost up, with the wavy-haired one leaving office this month. Yet it wasn’t just Koizumi’s elaborately coiffured mane and Elvis impersonations that enabled his rise to the top of the political tree. No, the Prime Minister trod the familiar Japanese political path of following in esteemed family members’ footsteps — a father who was director general of the Japan Defence Agency and a grandfather who was Minister of Posts and Telecommunications helping to significantly boost the bullish and bouffanted Koizumi’s stock.

The three men hoping to become the country’s next Prime Minister are also, to varying degrees, blessed with influential in-laws and relatives. Current favourite Shinzo Abe is bolstered by a small dynasty of high-ranking dignitaries — his father once being secretary-general of the all-powerful Liberal Democratic Party, and his grandfather former Prime Minister Nobusuke Kishi. Credentials that more than make up for his conservatively combed crop.

Behind Abe in the polls is Taro Aso, whose formidable family connections could well help turn things around. Like Abe, Aso’s grandfather also held the top job, but he manages to trump his rival due to his wife’s father having also been Prime Minister. And if that’s not enough, his younger sister is married to Prince Tomohito of Mikasa, meaning it was no gallant rise from poor plebeian to powerful politician for Mr Aso. A situation that perhaps explains his arrogant appearance and routinely caustic comments.

Bravely challenging these two political powerhouses is Sadakazu Tanigaki, a man whose father was Minister of Education, and, well, that’s about it. Giving him plenty to shout about in some circles, but not in the higher echelons of Japanese politics.

However the alleged size of ‘tripod’ Tanigaki’s presence in certain quarters appears to at least give him something to smile about.

Sep 04 2006 2 Comments

Hunting high and low

After a fruitless and frustrating search for a pair of suitable slacks, this final outlet appeared to offer at least some hope of success.

But alas, to no availâ€¦

Sep 01 2006 2 Comments

Rescue relief

The rigours of the unregulated world of silicone sex workers was highlighted today when a ‘hotel employee’ was urgently rushed back to its manufacturer, Tokyo technicians applying emergency lubrication of the synthetic kind to keep the plastic patient pliant.

Thankfully the doll’s condition was later said to be stable, with a hygienist claiming that after a good scrub and a quick hose down she’d be back at work in no time.

Aug 31 2006 4 Comments

Killing for cash

“I wanted money, I could not refuse after being asked.”

A 15-year-old boy’s ‘justification’ for allegedly killing his friend’s mother, after the 46-year-old woman’s son offered him a 300,000 yen (1,345 pound) payment.â€

The 16-year-old son involved in the murder is suspected of talking to his friend about the crime in early August, with police officers confirming that the woman was stabbed to death last Sunday at around 10pm in Wakkanai, Hokkaido.

Due to their ages neither boy can be named, but the son is said to have confessed to investigators that he was unhappy with his mother following his parent’s divorce, telling officers, â€œWhen I talked about my father, my mother always came to his defense, so I grew to hate my mother as well.â€

Whether similar retribution was planned for the father has yet to be disclosed.

Aug 30 2006 6 Comments

Fornication fasting

Japan’s unenviable position at the bottom of the ‘most at it like rabbits’ league table looks set to continue, with the seemingly less than passionate population quite possibly set to reduce the tryst tally even further this year.

At least this would certainly be the case were the poll restricted to married couples, as a recent survey by Bayer — which has been tirelessly translated by the far from wilting What Japan Thinks — found that the average number of sexual sojourns for a Japanese pair was a measly 17 a year, further strengthening the notion of the sexless marriage. A number so pitiful in fact that it makes the nation’s average figure of 45 forays seem almost feverish in its frequency.

Whilst a little over 10 percent of those questioned managed to make the effort at least once a week, the rest of the results make for less than encouraging reading. A sizeable 16 percent of those asked only indulge in a bit of intercourse once a month; however even this figure isn’t that bad when compared to those who haven’t had a bit of how’s your father for over a year — a whopping 34 percent.

Notably a thrifty 3 percent managed to just about keep up appearances by getting one ‘go’ in a year. Something of a holiday treat perhaps.

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