Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Lavatory love

If it somehow managed to escape your attention, November 10 was ‘Toilet Day’. Twenty-four hours of bowl related bawdiness introduced by the Japan Toilet Association.

Whilst this year’s big day may have already been and gone, cistern specialist TOTO has marked the occasion with some celebratory toilet paper. Each roll decorated with humorous senryu — 17-syllable poems similar to haiku.

japanese toilet paper

These potty related poems were collected from around 10,000 entries, with 19 of the chosen senryu appropriately describing lavatories and their usage. And any discharge devotees reading this will be pleased to hear that the unique item is available at all good bookshops, or alternatively online through TOTO’s website. Priced at a relatively reasonable 350 yen (1.75 pound) a roll.

However rather than simply using the product in the conventional manner, you might want to consider saving it. A spokesperson for the project urging buyers, “Don’t flush your love for the toilet away.”

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Robotic relief

Electronic aids are nothing new in the Japanese home, with devices available for a variety of tasks — including entertaining children and caring for the elderly.

Some manufacturers, however, have decided to move away from such practical concerns, focusing much more on personal pleasure. This, erm, mechanical masturbator being a prime example.

japanese handjob

For frustrated fellas reticent to subject their genitalia to a rather severe looking synthetic squeeze, the appliance comes with other, slightly less alarming attachments.

Removal of the ‘hand’ for example allowing for straightforward insertion, with the machine kindly taking care of all necessary movements.

japanese masturbation

Such versatility making it a real a bargain at only 34,500 yen (170 pound). Comfortably beating the competition hands down.

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Motorcycle emptiness

Whilst tediously trekking through this site’s archives would offer very few clues, I am actually something of a motorcycle fan — meaning that the recently held Tokyo Motor Show was a must see event.

Of particular interest was this, erm, green Kawasaki. It’s smooth contours and appealing shape not only catching my eye, but those of countless other camera wielding bike lovers.

Japanese model

Equally enticing was the blue and white Suzuki below. A cheeky little number that garnered a lot attention with its compact frame and petite but perfectly formed carburettors. Which unfortunately you’ll have to take my word for, as the bike was obscured somewhat by a company employee.

Japanese model

(Click on images for added gratuitousness)

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Warm wonder

As the government’s Warm Biz energy saving campaign kicks into top gear, underwear maker Triumph International has come up with the fashionable little number pictured below. A garment that at first glance may appear a little cold for the office, but its use of an infrared thermal lining (whatever one of those is) means that the wearer should barely feel the cold.

warm biz bra

The added inclusion of bra gel-pads, that can be heated in a microwave and then placed into the cups, means busty bureaucrats will be both snug and sexy. Their inclusion allegedly catching the eye of Kuniko Inoguchi, Minister of State for Gender Equality, and also — perhaps appropriately — Minister of State for Youth Affairs and Measures for Declining Birthrate.

inoguchi kuniko

Policy briefings may never be the same again.