Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Card con

In a bid to beguile fawning and fleeceable customers, UFJ NICOS has released a new credit card featuring singer, actress and all-around ‘idol’ Asami Abe.

asami abe credit card

However whilst the inclusion of the 21-year-old’s name may well be enough to entice many fans, the card’s main allure is the chance to speak to Abe-san herself. Yes, for those willing to forgo economic security and ratchet up a ridiculous amount of points, their dream girl will be kind enough to indulge in a little one-on-one chit chat.

asami abe

But it won’t be over dinner or a nice long coffee. No, instead it’ll be a rather less intimate affair; namely on the telephone — for a measly 5 minutes.

abe asami

Which isn’t much to smile about.

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Bungling blogger

A former police administration officer in Morioka, Iwate Prefecture, has been reported to prosecutors for violating the Swords and Firearms Control Law after taking pictures of handguns and using them on his blog.

gun
a gun

Whilst on duty in September 2002, the 33-year-old unlocked a firearms cabinet and selected two particularly photogenic weapons, then after surreptitiously taking a few pictures he posted them on his blog — twice as it turns out. Yet despite cleverly applying a mosaic pattern to the photos, a prefectural police worker later recognized the guns and promptly reported his findings.

The unnamed blogger was given a 10 percent pay cut as punishment, but being understandably embarrassed by the whole affair, he resigned on Wednesday, explaining his behaviour by saying, “I posted [the photographs of the guns] because I wanted people to take an interest in the home page.”

An excuse that will presumably carry little weight with prosecutors, as everybody knows that it takes hard work and good writing to attract people to a blog. The random posting of pictures,

japanese beauties

takes no skill or talent whatsoever,

fujiwara

and regardless of the content it’s a lame and unimaginative way to try and boost traffic.

waka inoue

He ought to be ashamed of himself.

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Holy haul

Taking zero tolerance to extremes, a judge in Kobe sentenced a man to 22 months in prison on Tuesday — all for the theft of around 800 yen’s (4 pound) worth of goods, and a pathetically paltry 2 yen (tuppence ha’penny) from a shrine offertory box.

yen
half the haul

This harsh punishment is all the more shocking as unemployed Seiji Kondo took from June to October in 2005 to bag his 800 yen convenience store cache; some batteries and a few sundry items making up his pitiful plunder. Yet despite his lawyer’s pleas, the presiding judge was having none of it, the money stolen from the shrine costing the 27-year-old dearly: “Even 2 yen is part of the monetary offerings of shrine visitors. We cannot take what he did lightly despite the amount of money.”

The judge could perhaps also have gone on about how the Japanese justice system is successfully keeping undesirables like Kondo-san off the streets, yet considering that if the petty thief had raped somebody he’d potentially only serve an extra 2 months behind bars, it’s probably best he didn’t.

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Beach barbecue?

“While we were studying the whales, some onlookers said they looked appetizing. But I would not recommend eating them.”

University of Hokkaido lecturer, Tetsuya Endo, explaining the reaction of a few salivating scavengers as he examined a dozen or so melon-headed whales found dead in Chiba Prefecture; the researcher advising against consumption due to excessively high levels of mercury found in the beached mammals.

Now call me an unadventurous eater, or even a fool for passing up a free meal, but ‘appetizing’ isn’t exactly the first word that springs to mind when I see something like this.

beached whales japan

The couple in the distance may or may not be cooking up a storm.

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(H)armed officer

In an incident that will do little to enhance the police’s reputation, a 55-year-old senior officer managed to shoot himself in the arm on Monday morning, bringing about an unexpected climax to a presumably less than eventful night shift.

Perhaps tired after a long stint at work, or bored witless from sitting in the police box all night, the unnamed officer appears to have been playing with his gun — the safety catch inexplicably unlocked. Now whether he was battling imaginary yakuza or reliving his favorite movie moments wasn’t disclosed, but the clumsy cop somehow managed to accidentally fire a shot that went through his arm; the bullet luckily continuing on through the window and coming to a halt in a nearby wall, instead of pinging around the room in a semi-comedic fashion.

japanese police
some other gun wielding officers yesterday

Nobody else was injured in the incident, including a surprised sergeant who was also present, but after violating in-house regulations concerning guns and safety catches, the injured officer would seem to be in an awful lot of trouble. A situation that an uncompromising statement from the Takamatsu Kita Police Station appears to confirm, the powers that be hinting at a severe reprimand by saying, “Officers must be more careful in handling their guns.”