Tokyo Times

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Trouser trouble

Last week, 31-year-old Hiroshi Wada was arrested for robbing several convenience stores. Nothing new there you may think, but Mr. Wada wasn’t your average run-of-the-mill thief. No, he had a style all of his own. Much to the dismay of his unsuspecting victims.

In an attempt to gain more time to make his escape, Wada-san always made store workers remove their trousers. Then for good measure unceremoniously bundled them into the bathroom. Providing invaluable time to make a clean getaway, as the embarrassed staff member went about retrieving his/her absent trousers before calling the police.

On the day he was arrested, the crafty criminal had picked up a dumpling (I kid you not) and approached the counter as if to pay, but then suddenly whipped out a knife and demanded the day’s takings. Presumably at the same time as the unfortunate shop assistant reluctantly whipped down their trousers!

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An alleged picture of Mr. Wada reunited with 3 of his victims yesterday. All of whom inexplicably turned out to be cheerleaders.

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Perverted practitioner

At the Kyoto Prefectural University of Medicine, Doctor Norihito Yamauchi wasn’t content with mere urine samples from his patients. As judging by the deviant doctor’s behaviour, he also wanted to see the samples actually being produced.

To achieve this, Mr. Yamauchi installed a small a camera in the toilet trashcan. But however careful he might have been, he didn’t do a good enough job, as a female student spotted it. Resulting in Yamauchi-san making a full (and no doubt incredibly embarrassing) confession.

In his defence, the good doctor can claim he pursued a non-discriminatory policy, as it turns out the toilet was used by both sexes. However it is hard to see this making any difference in a court of law. More likely the judge will just be relieved to get the case over and done with.

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Zico’s zenith?

“I’ll continue as coach until 2006 and then I will call it a day”
National football team coach Zico at a press conference last week

The once mercurial Brazilian also went on to say that he had no interest in managing a J-League team or (wait for it) the Brazilian national team after he steps down as Japan coach.

Now there is no way I’m going to criticize Zico the player. Nor can I fail to mention the interest he generated in the J-league when he came out of retirement to play here. But as national team coach his record is dismal (despite a good win last week against the Czech Republic), and the improving and confident Japanese team of the last World Cup is now a shambling, directionless wreck.

These recent comments by the once legendary player show a disturbing degree of arrogance and self denial. The fact that he expects to be offered any managerial position after his stint as the national team coach ends is laughable, but to even mention the position of Brazil manager is nothing short of ludicrous!

I guess this arrogance was apparent when Zico accepted the job in the first place. With next to no managerial experience, he was hardly the ideal candidate. Although I have to admit that the JFA deserves as much blame for offering him the job in the first place. What was going on there (with both parties) is anybodies guess, but results have shown the error of their ways.

For football to maintain a strong following in Japan, I feel it’s important for the national team to do well. Sadly with Zico at the helm, I just can’t see this happening. And with a relatively easy qualifying route to Germany 2006 now looking like a real challenge, the heat is on.

He may prove me wrong. And for the sake of Japanese football I sincerely hope he does. But there are going to have to be some changes. Major ones.

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Next!

The picture above was surreptitiously taken at a secret training session. Hence the rather poor quality. Now I could make a comment about the team, players, and fans getting royally shafted, but I’ll refrain from such base humour.

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Puritan pretender

“I don’t know why their parents or teachers don’t say something to them.”

A commuter, grumbling at the growing anti-social behavior of school kids on trains, where they sit on the floor or lie down on seats.

Not only do they sit on the floor and lie on the seats, but they are often noisy, eat and drink on the train, and generally enjoy making a nuisance of themselves. But this is still preferable to a lot of adult behaviour found on and around public transport. Such as groping, peeking up skirts, exposing genitalia, and public trouser removal

Give me bad school kids any day!