Tokyo Times

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No laughing matter

Over the weekend, a 70 year-old man was arrested for loudly playing tape recordings of canned laughter in the direction of a neighbour’s house.

It seems that the suspect, a Mr. Kanji Fujimoto, recorded the guffawing from a bag o laughs toy, and is alleged to have played his comedy compilation about 300 times since September 2002.

After numerous warnings, the police finally decided to arrest Mr. Fujimoto when his harassed neighbour presented them with a medical certificate proving she had begun to suffer psychologically. When asked why he played the cassettes, the laughter loving suspect is quoted as saying, “[she] was monitoring my house with a helicopter.” Although sadly he failed to reveal why she was doing this, and how the cackling cacophony was supposed to combat it.

After his arrest, investigators did admit that some of Mr. Fujimoto’s words and actions were strange, but nevertheless they still see no problem in holding him criminally responsible for his actions.

Lets just hope the case isn’t ahem, laughed out of court.

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Chindogu chin stand

Somehow I think the subway snoozer’s chin stand is one gadget I will have no problems resisting.

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It almost looks like the woman has suffered a horrific injury, or is wearing the world’s largest brace, rather than using a device that will supposedly allow her to sleep. Plus I think it would be hard to doze off when everyone around you is furtively staring and wondering what on earth you are doing.

This bizarre gadget was invented by Kenji Kawakami, who it turns out is a kind of chindogu master. A chindogu apparently being an invention that is almost completely useless. Or as Mr. Kawakami likes to say, unuseless. Which I’m guessing is a joke of sorts. A joke seemingly comparable with his inventions!

Yet from what I’m led to believe, this chindogu champion has built up a cult following over the years, and has come up with around 600 inventions. Most of them being as preposterous as the subway snoozer’s chin stand.

Although with his baby duster, I have to confess he might just be on to something.

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Bush’s Japanese commercial

Despite already having a rather demanding full-time job, it would appear that George W Bush somehow managed to find the time to do a spot of moonlighting in Japan. Making a TV commercial for one of the nation’s biggest language schools.

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Ok, that’s not quite true, but the actor in the commercial is supposed to be Bush, and unusually for such an endeavor, does actually bear a likeness to the US president. What’s more, it’s a great (if slightly odd) advert too. And how could you fail to be impressed with an opening line of “You like fish, why not English?”

To see this gem in all it’s bizarre glory, just click on the picture below.

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For those of you without broadband, click here and select your connection speed. Nobody should miss out on this little beauty.

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Happening indeed

“The ‘happening bars’ are popular because they are strictly managed and don’t allow information leaks.”

Psychologist Akitsugu Kuwasaki, explaining the most talked-about trend in the sex industry — bars where voyeurs observe steamy sex acts through one-way mirrors, that are proving especially popular with women viewers

These happening bars have apparently been around since the late 90’s, but a couple of years ago their numbers began skyrocketing. Tokyo alone now boasts at least 30 such establishments. Yet it’s only recently that they have come under the public spotlight, due to the arrest of famous male porn star Chocoball Mukai for indecent exposure. Mr. Mukai, whose first name is allegedly in reference to his ahem, chocolate coloured testicles, must presumably have been showing off his famous attributes when the police made their unexpected appearance.

Yet despite the obviously bawdy nature of such places, as the quote above confirms, these bars are surprisingly popular with women. Perhaps one reason is the strict security in place, and the assurance that there will be no information leaks. Although how that explains the unfortunate situation Mr. Mukai finds himself in I don’t know.

But chocoball’s arrest aside, a female doctor who admitted to frequenting such places said, “I feel I can let loose here…you can forget about your work while in such an unreal kind of place.”

I dare say you can!

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Peeping professor update

The other day I mentioned the arrest of renowned economist and university professor Kazuhide Uekusa, for allegedly attempting to look up the skirt of a 15 year-old schoolgirl with a concealed mirror.

Now it seems that despite the police claiming he had already admitted to the allegation, Mr. Uekusa is denying it. He told prosecutors he didn’t peep up the girl’s skirt, nor did he even try to. But (and this is a big but) he did have a small mirror with him.

Hmm, I’m not sure what you think, but I don’t find his cries of innocence very convincing. Especially as he has failed to explain why he was carrying a mirror in the first place. Personally I can’t think of a reason (apart from peeping up girls skirts of course) for using a mirror whilst on an escalator. Can you?