Tokyo Times

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Cook, cup or cock?

The Japanese word for a cook is コック (kokku) which, for the untrained ear, may well lead to the odd, mildly amusing member-based misunderstanding. Although there again, some may well suggest that for the likes of foul-mouthed and famous British chef, Gordon Ramsay, such a faux pas may indeed be fitting.

Still, this kind of kitchen-themed confusion doesn’t necessarily end there, as an apparently comparable cock up concerning the creation of a similarly sounding cup can, at least in the sauciness stakes, offer up some suitably stiff competition.

Japanese cock up

(click image for phallic, but unfortunately fairly obviously photoshopped, frivolity)

via Neta

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Japanese car sales saviour?

The Japanese car industry has been commanding for a considerable amount of time now, but although it’s not in the same near-collapse conundrum as a considerable number of its competitors, in reality things really aren’t that rosy, with Honda postponing production in some plants and Toyota suffering some sizeable setbacks.

At least one manufacturer, however, has decided to fight back, deducing that this decline may not be entirely due to the worldwide economic downturn, but could also have something to do with a dearth of desirable cars. A sense perhaps that pragmatism rather than pleasure has bored would-be buyers. And as such, it has sensationally opted to spur sales by making its product action-packed as well as appealing.

Exciting Japanese car

Apparently.

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Japanese J-Cups

There’s certainly no shortage of J-this and J-that giants in Japan, with the likes of J-Com, J-Mart and the country’s football-focused J-League to name but a few. Plus, in a nod to nostalgia and name recognition, there’s the now newly named but not forgotten, J-Phone. The latter for a long time favouring the face, and indeed figure, of Norika Fujiwara for promotional purposes.

Norika Fujiwara

However, as ample as Ms Fujiwara’s assets may be, they fall way short of the titanic talents of Hitomi. A young lady who now helps jam a ginormous amount of Japan into J-Cup. And, despite having her knockers, as well as keeping any concrete concepts close to her chest, she is still expected to bust out into the big time and make absolutely massive mammaries mainstream.

Japanese J-Cups

Maybe.

(click image for sort of not safe for work super-sized, erm, stardom)

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Japanese economic ease?

With Japan’s Nikkei index experiencing the same roller-coaster ride as the rest of the world’s markets, the country is rapidly heading towards recession, if indeed it hasn’t now pottered over the edge of that particular precipice. A situation that — along with countless other issues — could, according to some analysts, send Japan’s already shockingly high suicide rate into the stratosphere; particularly as it has happened repeatedly in the past.

This then could be why, when it comes to unemployment, some of the language in use is couched in almost comforting and carefree locution. Even the unforeseen shock of a salary man with suddenly no salary is countered somewhat by a visit to the local happy-go-lucky and hardly something to get upset about sounding, Hello Work (ハローワーク) headquarters.

hello work

Plus, after the initial introduction, unemployment is still a decidedly dirty word, and certainly not one to be banded about unnecessarily. In fact, even ‘between jobs’ is arguably deemed a bit depressing, with those working on wangling a new workplace through job ads simply having something of a siesta.

Japanese job nap

Of sorts.

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In a funk funk?

Whatever passions (or indeed perversions) a prospective patron may possess, Tokyo would appear to have a watering hole kindly pandering to his or her particular predilections — all the way from the naughty to the unnecessarily nasty.

And now, to add to the seemingly never-ending list, is a snug little spot that’s ideal for having a snack, listening to some soul and sighing audibly while slumped sadly in one’s seat.

Tokyo bar

(click image for mega-sized miserableness)