Tokyo Times

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Odd

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Canned convenience

Still looking for the perfect snack to compliment your tinned tea or coffee? A product as compact and convenient as your favourite ready-made beverage?

canned coffee

Well, further foraging is at last unnecessary, because here it is: canned bread.

bread in a can

Yes, bread in a tin. It lasts for 3 years too. And if that’s not enough, you can also choose between chocolate chip, raisin and nut, or the slightly more adventurous coffee, raisin and nut variety. Amazing eh?

Did I mention it comes in a can?

more bread in a can

Acutely aware however of such a reaction to its product, the organization behind it have opted for a no-nonsense and self explanatory name — Pan Desuyo! (This is Bread!). Which is perhaps as well, because on first inspection it may not be immediately obvious.

bread?

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Bulging bureaucracy

Perhaps taking the government’s casual cool biz campaign a little too far, a Hyogo Prefecture bureaucrat stepped out last weekend sporting a wig and miniskirt. A not altogether objectionable outfit it has to be said, although on a 56-year-old male it could be regarded as unconventional — risqué even.

a miniskirt
not the man in question apparently

Still, Hiroshi Ikeuchi’s Saturday night out wouldn’t have raised much more than a few eyebrows if he’d just gone quietly about his business. Yet feeling a little giddy in his gutsy garment, the general affairs manager inexplicably opted to expose his genitalia to three female students. The skimpy nature of his outfit presumably facilitating this bit of furtive fun.

Appalled at what they saw however, the three young women overpowered Ikeuchi-san as he tried to demurely depart and handed him over to the local police. The resultant arrest prompting a clearly shocked city mayor to say, “It was an act unworthy of a public servant, and I express my heartfelt apology.” A comment that Ikeuchi may not necessarily agree with, as the fashion conscious felon calmly claimed, “I was steeped in a sense of freedom.”

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Rubbish robber

We all make mistakes, but a 58-year-old would-be bank robber in Saitama Prefecture made a couple of behemothic blunders during his fatally flawed get rich quick plan.

The floundering fella’s first faux pas was his complete lack of planning, which became immediately obvious when he asked a confounded cashier, “Any idea how you rob a bank?” Now whilst well versed on general bank matters and the complexities of ATM money transfers, the branch employee was at a loss in regards to larceny, and so referred the request to another member of staff; this quick thinking individual gently escorting the middle-aged man out of the bank, quite possibly with a comforting yet slightly condescending arm around his shoulders.

To complete the humiliation, the hapless robber’s second slip up was his basic lack of knife know-how, as the presence of an unsheathed weapon in his pocket became apparent due to a bloodstain on his trousers. One of the arresting officers confirming this by almost sympathetically saying, “He didn’t brandish the knife at anyone … but he injured himself in the leg.”

Categorized: Odd

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Lavatory linguists

The incredible commitment shown to ‘the company’ by the average salary man, resulting in long hours, regular drinks with the boss and minimal holidays, can have numerous consequences. Death from overwork (karoushi) is by far the most extreme, but there are also problems such as marital breakdown and mental health issues. And with such little time for anything other than work, the internationally minded minion also has very few chances to brush up on his English.

Yet thanks to an imaginative manufacturer, even the busiest of businessmen will now be able to manage at least five minutes of English study a day. As at the same time they are squeezing out, they’ll be able to squeeze in a bit of practice with this tutoring toilet paper.

japanese toilet roll

The section displayed even topically targets toilet related matters, with 1. Where is the rest room, and 5. It is a diarrhea feeling, being potentially very useful indeed.

(click image for larger loo roll)

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Closet coverage

The school athletic meeting he’d been sent to cover was presumably far from fascinating for Naoki Watanabe, as instead of writing about race winners and stellar performances, the 29-year-old journalist hid in the toilet and attempted to secure some rather more salacious scoops.

Quite how Watanabe-san intended to incorporate this clandestine coverage into his final story will never be known, as the roving reporter was caught before he could get that far — a tip-off from a parent resulting in his arrest; although not before the 29-year-old had managed to film two women in an adjoining cubicle.

Thoroughly disgusted with its employees actions, the newspaper confirmed punitive measure will be taken against the young reporter, a company official kindly supplying other publications with an unintentionally pun-based proclamation by saying, “After getting to the bottom of the incident, we’ll take strict measures against him.”