Tokyo Times

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No laughing matter

Over the weekend, a 70 year-old man was arrested for loudly playing tape recordings of canned laughter in the direction of a neighbour’s house.

It seems that the suspect, a Mr. Kanji Fujimoto, recorded the guffawing from a bag o laughs toy, and is alleged to have played his comedy compilation about 300 times since September 2002.

After numerous warnings, the police finally decided to arrest Mr. Fujimoto when his harassed neighbour presented them with a medical certificate proving she had begun to suffer psychologically. When asked why he played the cassettes, the laughter loving suspect is quoted as saying, “[she] was monitoring my house with a helicopter.” Although sadly he failed to reveal why she was doing this, and how the cackling cacophony was supposed to combat it.

After his arrest, investigators did admit that some of Mr. Fujimoto’s words and actions were strange, but nevertheless they still see no problem in holding him criminally responsible for his actions.

Lets just hope the case isn’t ahem, laughed out of court.

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Chindogu chin stand

Somehow I think the subway snoozer’s chin stand is one gadget I will have no problems resisting.

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It almost looks like the woman has suffered a horrific injury, or is wearing the world’s largest brace, rather than using a device that will supposedly allow her to sleep. Plus I think it would be hard to doze off when everyone around you is furtively staring and wondering what on earth you are doing.

This bizarre gadget was invented by Kenji Kawakami, who it turns out is a kind of chindogu master. A chindogu apparently being an invention that is almost completely useless. Or as Mr. Kawakami likes to say, unuseless. Which I’m guessing is a joke of sorts. A joke seemingly comparable with his inventions!

Yet from what I’m led to believe, this chindogu champion has built up a cult following over the years, and has come up with around 600 inventions. Most of them being as preposterous as the subway snoozer’s chin stand.

Although with his baby duster, I have to confess he might just be on to something.

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Bush’s Japanese commercial

Despite already having a rather demanding full-time job, it would appear that George W Bush somehow managed to find the time to do a spot of moonlighting in Japan. Making a TV commercial for one of the nation’s biggest language schools.

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Ok, that’s not quite true, but the actor in the commercial is supposed to be Bush, and unusually for such an endeavor, does actually bear a likeness to the US president. What’s more, it’s a great (if slightly odd) advert too. And how could you fail to be impressed with an opening line of “You like fish, why not English?”

To see this gem in all it’s bizarre glory, just click on the picture below.

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For those of you without broadband, click here and select your connection speed. Nobody should miss out on this little beauty.

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Peeping professor update

The other day I mentioned the arrest of renowned economist and university professor Kazuhide Uekusa, for allegedly attempting to look up the skirt of a 15 year-old schoolgirl with a concealed mirror.

Now it seems that despite the police claiming he had already admitted to the allegation, Mr. Uekusa is denying it. He told prosecutors he didn’t peep up the girl’s skirt, nor did he even try to. But (and this is a big but) he did have a small mirror with him.

Hmm, I’m not sure what you think, but I don’t find his cries of innocence very convincing. Especially as he has failed to explain why he was carrying a mirror in the first place. Personally I can’t think of a reason (apart from peeping up girls skirts of course) for using a mirror whilst on an escalator. Can you?

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Groping grand champions

Groping on trains has long been a problem in Japan, and in a desperate attempt to curb such behaviour, some train companies have introduced female only carriages. Victims have also been encouraged to speak out more, and not shirk from identifying the perpetrators. But whether this will completely eradicate the problem is doubtful, as some gropers it would appear are very dedicated.

As an example, I came across a story in the Mainichi Daily News Yesterday. How much of it is true I really don’t know. Probably not much to be honest. But either way, it makes for an entertaining and at times bizarre read.

According to the article, some groping fanatics formed the Chikan Tomo-no-Kai (The Gropers Brotherhood). At meetings, the members apparently discuss various techniques, and revel in retelling their favourite groping stories. They are even said to have a ranking system based on their level of perverted proficiency. For instance, a good performance (if that’s the right description) in front of the chairman, could earn a member the exalted rank of black belt.

Each rank has certain requirements, and the higher up the scale, the more demanding they are. Those who manage to attain the dizzy height of 5th dan black belt are expected to maintain their rank by fondling the buttocks of at least 100 women a month. Now I’m no expert on this, but I’m guessing you’d need a pretty long commute to sustain those mighty figures. If Saturdays and Sundays are counted as holidays, that works out at about 5 gropes a day. A feat of almost Olympic proportions!

But like I said earlier, how much truth there is in the article is highly debatable. If you want to read it in full and make your own mind up, all you need to do is click here. Although I should warn you that it does go into considerably more detail. I have merely touched on a few specifics.