Don’t fancy yours much.
Yikes!
Odd
Ball grabber busted
A 60 year old woman was arrested over the weekend for stealing lost golf balls from a lake near the 15th hole at Sasadaira Country Club, Gifu prefecture. The suspect, Ms Natsumi Tsujita, is reported to have said she did it for some spending money.
But she wasn’t content with just turning up with a net and a long pole. No, Tsujita-san donned a wetsuit, and had goggles and a waterproof flashlight to boot. And if all that wasn’t enough, she also manufactured a net attached to a floating ring to store all the balls in.
After starting late Friday night, by the early hours of Saturday morning Ms. Tsujita is said to have collected over 1,500 balls. An impressive haul indeed. One that would have presumably brought in the necessary spending money she so desperately craved.
However unfortunately her car was spotted by club security, and when she came back dripping wet she was promptly arrested. And most likely Ms. Tsujita will face legal proceedings, as bizarrely it turns out that The Supreme Court has already handed down a ruling on lost balls, declaring them to be the property of the golf course.
Serial panty pilferer nabbed
A nation breathes easier today, as arguably Japan’s worst recorded panty poacher is now safely behind bars.
55-year-old Kazumasa Ota was arrested this month after being apprehended by an unidentified company employee. The diligent citizen spotted Mr. Ota attempting to snatch a 4th piece of underwear from an apartment balcony, and bravely detained him until the police arrived.
The underwear-loving thief is suspected of being a keen panty plunderer for over 30 years. And after searching his house, police found 30 cardboard boxes packed with more than 4,000 items of women’s underwear. All carefully folded up and protected with moth repellant.
When questioned by police, Mr. Ota said, “I like women’s underwear.” Surely a contender for understatement of the year.
Lavatorial letch
Over the weekend, a man was arrested at Kansai International Airport after being found in the ceiling above a women’s toilet.
A security guard noticed that somebody had climbed up into the ceiling cavity of the car park toilets, and promptly alerted the police. After his subsequent capture and arrest, the 50 year old suspect Shuichi Arai said he had climbed up there in an effort to escape from somebody who was chasing him.
Thankfully it would appear that I’m not the only one who thinks that the ceiling of a public toilet is a decidedly odd escape route, as inspectors strongly suspect that Mr. Arai’s motive was to spy on women using the toilet.
And just to add to the suspect’s embarrassment, rescue workers had to be called out, as he’d managed to get himself trapped in the maze of pipes above the ceiling.
In the news report, Mr. Arai’s marital status wasn’t disclosed, so it’s unknown if he’s had to explain his conduct to a dismayed and disgusted spouse. However he does have a job. Just imagine the shame of going back to work after being rumbled for spying on women using the toilet. It doesn’t even bear thinking about does it?
Mildly amusing Japanese-English #8
Dutch wife
For reasons unknown, a blow up doll in Japan is called a dutch wife. There probably is a simple explanation for such an unusual name, but I think I’d prefer not to know. That way it’s more intriguing, and also funnier. Unless you happen to be a real Dutch wife I suppose.
But in technology driven Japan, dutch wives are not freakish looking inflatable monsters. Instead they are silicone-molded beauties, that apparently have a texture very similar to real skin and are completely seam free. These state of the art dutch wives do come at a price though. The latest Jewel model will set you back a libido quelling 600,000 yen (3,000 pound).
For anybody in the market for a dutch wife, here’s what you can expect for your money.
And as you can see from these pictures, you can take your bride out on a date, or even to the beach.
Orient Industry who make these companions offer a lifelong after-service, and anticipate a time when the doll will outlive its owner. But for any unwanted dutch wives, the company will discreetly take them back free of charge. And rather than just throw them away, twice a year it has a Buddhist memorial service, where the ‘souls’ of the dolls are consecrated.
