Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Tone-deaf terror

Living in Japan and possessing a singing voice that warrants a stretch behind bars means that evenings out with colleagues or acquaintances can be fraught with danger. One simply never knows if (although sadly it’s usually when) the battle cry of “Lets go to karaoke!” will rear its ugly little head.

This spine chilling suggestion for the vocally challenged requires an immediate and effective escape plan. Perhaps a feigning of tiredness, or even a boldfaced lie involving family members, sickness, and an urgent need to return home. Basically anything will do, as long as it results in a night of karaoke crooning avoidance.

Such cowardice has thankfully served me well up to now, but the evil engineers at TASCAM have released the terrifying Karaoke Man on to a vapid and voracious market.

karaoke japan

This innocent looking but malevolent device allows users to cut the vocals from any CD. Which combined with the supplied microphone creates a light and portable karaoke machine. A gadget that is destined to appear when least expected and even less desired.

japanese karaoke

This is a frightening prospect indeed, and one that will require a serious rethinking of evasive strategies. One possibility is the claim of a mysterious yet especially virulent throat condition. A disease so baffling that karaoke singing in any shape or form is liable to be fatal.

Rather extreme I admit, but these are troubling times for a westerner without the ability to warble.

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Senseless censor?

On Monday, the Kanagawa Prefectural Government deemed the hugely popular Grand Theft Auto 3 a harmful publication, and promptly submitted a report to the prefectural authorities to ban sales of the game to those under the age of 18.

This is an unusual move in itself, but even more so considering it comes over 18 months after the game’s Japanese release, and 350,000 sales down the line. A decision that immediately brings to mind the words, horse, stable, and long since bolted. Especially as the game’s two (arguably more violent) sequels were not even mentioned in the report.

GTA japan

Despite this ludicrously late response, the resolution could potentially have long lasting effects, as it is the first game in Japan to be designated as a harmful publication due to the violence it depicts; with members of the child welfare council claiming it has the “potential to induce youths to feel like doing something cruel.”

The decision has understandably had a mixed response, but Akio Mori of Nihon University is especially pleased. The author and teacher saying, “There’s no doubt young boys’ brutal incidents have been caused under the influence of violent games. We should restrict sales of games in which splattering of blood is commonplace.”

Young lovers of such games living in Kanagawa need not worry too much though. Even if the sale of Grand Theft Auto 3 becomes restricted, a quick trip to nearby Tokyo will easily solve the problem. Plus there’s still the huge amount of extremely violent and sexually explicit manga to peruse. Which can be conveniently purchased just about anywhere, by just about anyone.

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Tattoo too?

There are tattoos, and then there are tattoos, and the young lady pictured below is undoubtedly sporting those of the latter variety.

Japanese tattoo

However not to be outdone, her body art loving friends are the proud owners of some equally impressive but more manly designs.

Japanese tattoo

The look perfectly complemented by some equally manly underpants.

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Fists at fifty paces

Whilst remaining illegal, dueling once again appears to be in vogue when it comes to settling disputes. As despite the arrest of several youths last year for breaking the 1889 law forbidding such practices, 12 teenagers from Tokyo and nearby Yokohama were recently apprehended and charged with causing bodily injury and dueling.

It turns out the duels were over the sale of a motorbike, and six pairs were formed to fight each other and resolve the disagreement. The rules of each bout stating that hair-pulling was (understandably) forbidden, and the contests would continue until one person gave up, or alternatively a severe pummeling resulted in an opponent ceasing to move. An added clause also ruled that fighting to the death, whilst not compulsory, was acceptable.

When the police arrived on the scene, one dueler had suffered injuries to his arm and head, yet the protagonists were decidedly unrepentant. One of the teenagers asking, “What’s wrong with hitting each other with consent?” A question that understandably cut no ice with the arresting officers.

For anybody interested in the results, the upstarts from Yokohama were beating the kids from the capital by 3 wins to 2. Meaning they were very close to victory when the police arrived, and (whilst I’m not sure about dueling etiquette) will presumably be awarded the victory by default.

Categorized: Odd

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Facial grease findings

It’s not uncommon to see young women in restaurants or coffee shops dabbing their faces with (for want of a better description) grease removing paper. And as the humidity begins to rise, getting rid of this unwanted and shiny substance is deemed ever more necessary; with the little pieces of paper used becoming almost transparent due to an excess of, erm, facial matter.

One manufacturer however claims that not only will its product result in the skin being nice and dry, it will even feel like that of a baby. And what better way to emphasise this than by using the photograph of a toddler on the packaging?

freaky baby

On closer inspection though, I’m not sure that the little chap pictured was the ideal choice. Far from it in fact. As whilst he may have a cute little face, rather worryingly he appears to have the upper torso of an old man. Plus an unusually large left hand.

Or do all babies look like that?

Categorized: Odd