Tokyo Times

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Odd

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Fictitious foreign felons

After taking a nap but oversleeping and waking up 5 hours after his scheduled arrival, a 34-year-old unnamed truck driver was understandably in something of a panic.

But the tried and trusted excuses of a bad stomach or heavy traffic were obviously too mundane for this imaginative young driver. As after waking up he called the police emergency line and said, “Four foreigners abducted me for some five hours.” And to add a little more detail to make the story (slightly) more believable, he went on to say that, “They asked where an expressway bus stop was at about 5:30 a.m. Someone covered my head with a paper bag from behind, and I was forced into a car.”

The call resulted in 30 officers being mobilized to find the felonious foreigners. But after more detailed questioning the police begin to suspect the tale didn’t quite add up. Especially as the driver had no noticeable injuries, despite claiming that he was eventually kicked out of a moving car at the end of his ordeal.

After further grilling the dishonest driver confessed that he concocted the story in a bid to cover-up oversleeping. Needless to say the police plan to send the case to prosecutors.

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A truck driver not abducted by foreigners yesterday.

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Upskirt urges

A High School teacher in Ibaraki Prefecture is currently in trouble with his local Board of Education for secretly filming up the skirt of one of his students.

The degenerate yet deviceful teacher (whose name has been withheld) managed to get his desired shots by attaching a digital camera to his sandal. Then allegedly ‘filming’ when his unknowing victim was doing a spot of cleaning.

It turns out though that this wasn’t the teacher’s only attempt at amateur movie making, as he confessed to doing the same thing during a class earlier this month. Putting his misdemeanors down to the fact that he gave in to his “desires after watching secretly filmed videos on an internet site.”

Also disclosed was that the camera-attached-to-a-sandal technique is not an ideal method for producing sharp images, as the teacher said (presumably in a desperate attempt to reduce his punishment) he had already deleted the images of the students as they weren’t clear.

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Santa sleigh slayed?

Whilst Christmas isn’t really a part of the traditional calendar here, that hasn’t stopped many people (and practically all retailers) embracing the festive spirit with as much enthusiasm as they can muster. Unfortunately rumour has it that at times this eagerness has been a little misdirected.

Now sadly this story has to remain classed as an urban myth, as it seems no photographic evidence is available. And I’ve checked extensively. Well, on Google images. What more do you want?

Anyway, back to the story/myth. The year varies depending upon which version you hear. Some have it as far back as just after the Second World War, others some time in the 1960’s. Whereas a few younger believers place the sighting as recent as the 1990’s. The location too is equally troublesome. Sometimes it’s as vague as Tokyo, Osaka, or even simply Japan. Ginza gets mentioned more than most though, so perhaps that’s the safest bet.

Yet despite these discrepancies, what was allegedly seen is always the same. Perhaps designed to be the Christmas decoration to top all all Christmas decorations, was lovable old Santa nailed to a cross. Yes, a crucified Kriss Kringle!

Sadly, as fuzzy as the various accounts are, none of them point to the Santa in question being this particular bearded man.

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A pity.

Categorized: Odd

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Dutch wife for hire

Back in April I mentioned the advancements in Japanese blow up doll technology, and that rather amusingly such devices go by the name of dutch wives.

But such lifelike silicone beauty comes at a cost, as a top of the range dutch wife will set you back a staggering 600,000 yen (3,000 pound). Now seeing as for most people this is an awful lot of money to spend on a recreational ‘toy’, the entrepreneurial Doll no Mori company has stepped in and started offering such manufactured mates on a rental basis.

jewel sex doll

As well as numerous satisfied customers, Doll no Mori’s owner, Hajime Kimura, is also more than happy with his new ’employees’. He says that currently he has four dolls and the company gets “at least one job a day, even on weekdays, so we made back our initial investment in the first month. [And] unlike employing people, everything we make becomes a profit and we never have to worry about the girls not turning up for work.”

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The current charge for a 70-minute session is 13,000 yen (65 pound), although Kimura-san says that the two-hour option is the most popular. But with such high rental costs he does admit that customers would be financially better off just buying a doll, especially as the company has a large number of repeat customers and a growing membership of over 200.

To give things a more personal touch, the four dolls available for service are called Alice, Ai, Mayu, and Tina. And as the picture below shows, they can be dressed up in a variety of, erm, alluring outfits.

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Now if all this wasn’t disturbing enough, the most popular doll by far is the large-eyed and mangaesque Alice, who/which most closely resembles a young girl.

And then of course there’s the hygiene aspect…

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Group groping

Last week, five university students were arrested on suspicion of attempting to grope a woman on an early morning commuter train.

Now unfortunately groping on trains isn’t the least bit uncommon, although such an organized team effort is. And what makes this story more unusual (and unsavoury) is that the poor woman involved was already under police protection following a similar attack in November.

Luckily this protection was in place when the group moved in, and all five members were arrested on the spot as they tried to touch her. The woman was quoted as saying that the suspects were in the same group that had molested her previously, and the police report stated that the students had agreed to specific roles, with some of them doing the groping whilst the others were on lookout duties.

The mind boggles, it really does…