Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

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Dodgy darts

As an Englishman, I have no problem whatsoever classifying darts as a sport. And whilst the rather portly proportions of many of its stars make it an easy target for criticism, the skill and dedication required to master the game is undeniable. In many ways making it very similar to that other giant of the competitive world, snooker.

Yet the smoky, barroom image of darts — along with the rotund nature of its protagonists — has been conveniently erased from the new and trendy electronic version spreading rapidly throughout Japan. In fact, this high-tech form is so far removed from the sport’s origins that it’s being laughably labelled as ‘sexy’.

sexy darts japan

A word that is seldom banded about when talk turns to the facial hair and physique of British darts legend Andy ‘The Viking’ Fordham.

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Toy terror

Youngsters that kick up a fuss after not getting their own way rarely make the news, but Mrs. Ichikawa’s son did a lot more than throw a tantrum after his request for more dolls was turned down; as unable to control his temper, the feisty young fella angrily set fire to his futon, resulting in the family home being burnt to the ground.

Realising the error of his ways, Hiroyuki Ichikawa did try and rectify the situation, promptly turning himself in at the police station. The futon felon tearfully telling the officer in charge, “I argued with my mother after she refused to grant my request to buy me dolls. I started the fire to vent my frustration.”

An excuse that may not save young Hiroyuki from prosecution — or indeed ridicule — as at 27-years-old, he’s probably a little too old for tantrums.

And dolls.

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Flowery flavour

Giving its famous chocolate covered biscuit something of a makeover, Kit Kat manufacturer Nestle has come up with this rather novel cherry blossom variety.

cherry blossom kit kat

But before you question the introduction of a spring themed product in the middle of winter, its arrival is timed to perfectly coincide with the commencement of school entrance examinations; the humble snack having become something of a lucky charm of late, its name sounding very similar to the Japanese for ‘definitely win’ (click here for a more detailed explanation).

A phrase that may ultimately ring hollow for many Kit Kat recipients, but not, one can safely assume, for Nestle.

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Taiko titillation

With its primeval pounding and frenzied movements, taiko is a breathtaking spectacle. The ancient art form requiring a tricky combination of both skill and stamina.

taiko

Yet by opting for a slightly unconventional approach, an all-female group has given the medium a novel new twist — naked taiko. The lithe and lively members more than happy to bang the night away, exhibiting barely a care in the world in regards to how much noise they make.

naked taiko

Clicking on the picture above will take you to a video of one of their performances. Which, due to a complete disregard for clothing and wanton jiggling of body parts, is definitely not safe for work.

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Killer condoms

In a move that is far from premature, the Japanese contraceptive industry is set to thrust its way into the 21st Century next month; Okamoto Industries having worked feverishly to release its new product — the nation’s first spermicide-coated condom.

japanese condoms

Further proving that Japan is no slouch when it comes to birth-control, Managing Director Atsushi Okubo breathlessly explained to reporters that, “Coating the inside of the condom with spermicide will further ensure that pregnancy doesn’t happen.”

A statement that no doubt wowed the gathered throng of reporters, yet such excitement will surely pale into insignificance when compared to the company’s promotional plans. As in a bid to get the word out, in-store videos will form part of a nationwide marketing blitz. The short ads set to have shoppers salivating with fast action films of, er, sperm being killed by chemicals.

Still, if this rather conservative approach doesn’t work, the hired services of porn-star-turned TV celebrity Nao Oikawa is nothing short of a masterstroke.

oikawa nao

As with condom sales at a record low, the image of Oikawa-san is sure to create at least some growth.

nao oikawa

Categorized: Sex