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For Chist’s sake!

Personally, if I were producing an item of clothing bearing the name of a famous personality or film (or in this case a combination of the two), I’d probably give the spelling a quick check before the design was finalized.

Not so the makers of a rather colourful baseball cap I came across recently. As is always the case in these situations, I didn’t have a digital camera with me. Having to make do with my rather limited camera phone. But that said, the design’s glaring error is still clearly visible in all its misspelled glory.

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Mathematical musings

During a debate in 1860 between the Anglican Archbishop of Oxford University, Samuel Wilberforce, and evolutionist and agnostic Thomas Huxley, the latter asserted that given sufficient time, all the possible combinations of matter (including those necessary to produce a man), would eventually occur by random chance.

This exchange prompted Huxley to famously ask Wilberforce for the services of 6 monkeys that would live forever, and 6 typewriters that would never wear out. Arguing that given an infinite amount of time, the monkeys would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare. Rumour also has it that Wilberforce, a skilled mathematician, was forced to concede the truth of Huxley’s point and lose the debate as a result.

Now as Monkeys are somewhat unpredictable, and typewriters are quickly becoming a thing of the past, I’d like to give Huxley’s theory a more modern touch. So I declare that given an infinite number of Japanese people, and an infinite number of badly worded t-shirts, the complete works of J.K. Rowling would eventually be produced.

Up to now I’m a bit far away from the infinite mark, but here are 3 for starters.

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Mildly amusing English usage #4

Handsome boy

Having just recently returned to school after the long summer holiday, it has to be said that I haven’t exactly been Mr. Jolly. But today my mood was lightened somewhat, as one of the students very kindly called me a handsome boy

Now sadly it’s quite a few years since I could realistically be labeled a boy, and even on my more optimistic days, classing myself as handsome would raise a few eyebrows to say the least. But that said, who can argue with the wise words of a 14-year-old schoolgirl? Ok, almost anybody, but that’s hardly the point.

No, the point is that I’m now officially a handsome boy. Success, wealth, and happiness await!

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Mildly amusing English usage #3

Master of English

Now feel free to scoff all you want, but yesterday as I was explaining something in class, one of the students said I was a master of English.

It probably won’t surprise anyone (and especially regular readers of this site) to hear this, but I’ve never had such a compliment bestowed on me before. Yet despite the fact that it came from a 13-year-old boy with only rudimentary knowledge of the language, I shall milk it for all it’s worth.

The moniker Master of English has already been added to my resume, and I’m currently in the process of having some business cards printed.

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Do you think those three flattering words should be in gold lettering? Perhaps even embossed?