Sports

Nov 22 2004 2 Comments

Mildly amusing English usage #5

Amongst most Japanese kids, foreign celebrities are arguably just as well known (if not more so) than their homegrown counterparts. As an example, just the merest hint of the word soccer invariably produces spontaneous and excited chants of “Beckham! Beckham!”

But all these foreign (and at times difficult to pronounce) names can get a little confusing. Or so it would seem after a class I had last week.

Practicing the riveting and overly used “What/Which _____ do you like?” I asked the class what sports they enjoyed. Thankfully one young student made the effort to answer, and he managed to blurt out that he’s a keen basketball fan. Deciding to abandon all caution and forge full steam ahead, I took the plunge and asked him which player he liked as a follow-up question.

Unfortunately this was the moment when the confusion arose and everything went pear shaped. Proud of his extensive basketball and NBA knowledge, the young fella excitedly told us that his favourite player is the one and only Michael Jackson!

Needless to say, after a brief pause to take in the magnitude of his mistake, we all guffawed loudly. Just long enough to make him cry and never want to study English ever again.

Ok, that last bit is not true, but his better-informed classmates found it hard to conceal their laughter. As it has to be said did their English teacher.

Michael “NBA” Jackson yesterday giving a big thumbs-up after wowing fans with yet another flamboyant slam-dunk.

Nov 16 2004 1 Comment

The bigger they are…

…The harder they (don’t necessarily) fall.

Or at least that’s what 34-year-old Takaho Ono found out last Sunday afternoon. As for undisclosed reasons, Ono-san was feeling frustrated, and in his own words “wanted to hit somebody.”

Now I’m no expert on fighting, but I do know that if you are going to pick on somebody for a bit of rough and tumble, better to choose an individual on the small side. And personally speaking, preferably a man wearing glasses, verging on the decrepit, and not a fast runner in case everything goes pear-shaped and I have to make a dash for it.

But none of this was a consideration for the brave (and foolish) Mr. Ono. Perhaps not realizing a sumo tournament was in town (but surely capable of seeing the size of his potential foe), the frustrated fighter chose to hit ex-wrestler and sumo stable master Katsunoura. A man who fought under the name Kitakachidoki, and whose records show he was 183 centimetres tall, and weighed in at an impressive 158 kilogrammes.

This mismatched battle resulted in Ono getting in one surprise punch before Katsunoura subdued him on the spot and promptly handed him over to the police.

Contest over.

Are you laughing at my skirt?

Oct 27 2004 10 Comments

Sharapova panty perverts

The obsession in Japan with pilfering, purchasing, or peeking at schoolgirls underwear is relatively well documented. Well, it is on this site anyway. But in a slight break from convention, a foreign non-schoolgirl has come to the attention of the nation’s panty perverts. And perhaps surprisingly, it’s all thanks to tennis.

The women’s game is relatively popular in Japan, but audiences are mostly made up of ardent female sports fans. Or perhaps that should be were. As this year’s AIG Japan Open has changed all that. Attendances swelled to around twice their usual size, with 70% of the ticket buyers being male. The vast majority of these fans armed with every photographic device known to man.

Yes, Wimbledon champion Maria Sharapova was in town, and the chance of a peek at her panties was an opportunity many underwear aficionados were simply unable to resist. The finesse of the tennis star’s backhand or the power of her volley was irrelevant to the camera-carrying horde. Her underwear-revealing serve was all (and everything) they had come to see. One reporter even grumbled that, “when she served, everyone got ready to take photos of her panties. Nine out of ten of these guys were geeks whose cameras were aimed below the belt.”

Entertainment journalist Yuuichi Hirabayashi attempted to explain the phenomenon, although it has to be said with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. “She’s the kind of Caucasian beauty that Japanese people have long admired.” And having warmed to the topic at hand, he went on to say that, “Tennis players usually become muscular, but she doesn’t have that gnarled look. She’s slender in a way that doesn’t make you think she’s an athlete.”

It’s not surprising then that the internet has spawned numerous sites devoted to the sharing and swapping of Sharapova shots. A writer specializing in internet related issues said that the sites not only offer panty pictures “that are taken from all sorts of angles,” but also numerous “photos showing her nipples when she isn’t wearing a sports bra.”

Thankfully the young Russian seemed unaware of the ulterior motives of many of those watching her games, but she is said to have complained to her staff at the cacophony of camera shutters that accompanied her every move (and serve). If she plans on playing in Japan again though, it would appear it’s something she is going to have to get used to.

Oct 15 2004 1 Comment

Haruurara heaven?

On this site I’ve mentioned Haruurara before. The racehorse with a record now standing at an unenviable 113 starts and no wins.

Thousand have turned out to watch the horse’s lame attempts at securing a victory, and at the same time (somewhat predictably) snapped up much sought after Haruurara merchandise. One company even made a bra modeled on the hapless horse.

But the enterprising souls at Kochi Race Track have gone one step further and opened a Haruurara gallery. Rather imaginatively (or not as the case may be) named Haruurara In-The-Movie Gallery. Visitors will have the chance to see numerous photos, and it goes without saying, the opportunity to load up on Haruurara memorabilia. Yet perhaps the highlight of the exhibition is a real-life model of the hopeless horse itself.

But with 113 races (and counting) without a win, how long will it be before the real (and stuffed) Haruurara becomes the galley’s biggest attraction? It’s going to happen, I just know it. And lets be honest, it’s got to be better than Haruurara Glue!