Tokyo Times

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Japan Unwrapped #5: Ultra unbelievable

Dear Tokyo Times

I’m pretty sure Godzilla doesn’t exist cos my friend Bobby says so. And Tokyo is still there so he can’t have destroyed it like I’ve seen him do in a film. At least that’s what my teacher Miss Jones said when I asked her. She even showed me some pictures in a book. It looked great.

But Bobby also says that Ultraman is real, and that’s why Japan is so safe. He reckons he even has a special phone too if there’s ever any trouble. I asked Miss Jones again but she has never heard of him, so she couldn’t help me.

Can you? Is it true?

Kevin (10), London.

Well Kevin, your friend Bobby is right. I’m not quite sure about the phone part, but yes, Ultraman is always on hand to help protect the people of Tokyo. In fact, only last week I witnessed the man himself fending off a few fiends who seemed intent on ruining a small outdoor concert.

Ultraman in Japan

How he found out I don’t know (so maybe Bobby is right about the phone), but before the monsters could cause any real mayhem,

Ultraman in Japan

Ultraman defiantly dealt with them.

Ultraman in Japan

His karate-like kicks were very impressive too.

Ultraman in Japan

In fact, everyone was so relieved, that the event organiser even overlooked the masked marvel taking a sneaky peek at one of the presenter’s legs as she thanked him for his actions.

Ultraman in Japan

You see Kevin, even super heroes like looking at girls sometimes.

(click images for ultra big Ultraman)

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Clothing shop clanger

Japanese shops sporting silly names aren’t exactly scarce, but now and again such sign-based silliness is taken to suitably surreal levels.

Like this ‘Wear House’ in Kanagawa, just outside Tokyo, for example. A name that, if nothing else, is deliciously undecipherable.

Japanese engrish

(click image for super-sized sexiness)

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Furtive photographers foiled?

In attempt to keep one step ahead of the nation’s furtive photographers, Japanese manufacturer Cramer Japan has produced some anti-peeking pants that block see-through snaps of female athletes.

Infrared rays it seems can pass through most materials, which has led many perverted picture takers to adapt their equipment accordingly. A recent increase of such ‘technology’ at sporting events prompting the previously mentioned pants from Cramer — the first piece of clothing in a line that will go by the name of Shot Guard. Company president Takashi Hakazono boasting that such products should make athletes feel more at ease, which “will probably release them from the fear of not knowing when or by whom they will next be photographed, and allow them to concentrate on their events, leading to better results.”

Japanese shot guard

A claim that these young ladies from the Japanese Olympic swimming team seem to agree with, as it finally allows them the chance to relax after a work out in the gym,

Japanese model risa kudo

or a practice in the pool.

Japanese models mao miyaji/yoko mitsuya

Taciturn Tokyo?

“Vending machines spread in Japan because of people’s demand for automation. Leaving aside the issue of whether this is good or bad, people clearly want to purchase things without having to talk to others.”

Takashi Kurosaki, director-general of the Japan Vending Machine Manufacturers Association on his organisation’s astounding success.

With 5.51 million vending machines already in Japan, Kurosaki-san may well be on to something; however as association head, he could be a little biased, as surely the vending machine is simply a convenient way of grabbing a drink or snack on the way to work, rather than an indicator of Japanese society’s uncommunicative character.

I mean, whilst beverages and bars of chocolate are one thing, it’s not as though people would happily go out and buy the likes of fruit and veg from a machine just to avoid meeting people. Now that would be an indicator of societal indifference.

Japanese vending machine

Perhaps.

Japanese vending machine

But of course, if the edibles on display looked particularly enticing, then it wouldn’t necessarily mean one was remote, just more than likely in a rush.

No, surely the only time people purposely use such machines to avoid interaction is when they are underage drinkers or smokers — a mind-boggling collection of cigarettes and alcohol colourfully calling them from almost every other corner.

Japanese vending machine

Or alternatively, when some entertainment of a more risqué nature is required, but the thought of aimlessly chatting about the weather whilst clutching a stack of decidedly un-Disney-like DVDs is too much, then the trusty old vending machine is once again a silent saviour.

Japanese DVD vending machine